xt7pk06wxt1w https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7pk06wxt1w/data/mets.xml University of Kentucky Fayette County, Kentucky The Kentucky Kernel 19400524  newspapers sn89058402 English  Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, May 24, 1940 text The Kentucky Kernel, May 24, 1940 1940 2013 true xt7pk06wxt1w section xt7pk06wxt1w T'jr

The ECernel ECentucecy

100 Tel. Student
Owned & Operated

UNIVERSITY

VOLUME XXX

Z246

Ql'KEME TAKES POWDER

Keruel

v

MAY

I'MO

NUMBER t.l

BOARD CHOOSES

...

Queen Wilhelmina. dowager iu
chief of Holland. was seen yesterday enjoying a Tom Collins in a
London pub. where she is taking refuge until the mess dies down at
home. The Queen's mother seemed
deeply distressed over the situation
in hy home country, but counseled.
It's a damn shanve what Adolf's doing to my potted plants," she said,
but adder. "But what the hell, I
should worry, I ain't in it. What a
war; Jhem sap6 over there fighting
the Huns, me over here with Tom
Collinses." I guess I ain't so rusty
huh, kid?"
OLD BAG . . .
The Dutch, however, seemed
somewhat perturbed over the situation. In a press release from the
official headquarters last night,
N. Uisance. leader of what is left
of the Dutch forces, heatedly
blamed Wilhelmnia for skipping out
when the shooting began. "What a
bag." said the Gen., adding that she
had "taken a powder when the heat
was on."
GERMAN LINE ADVANCES . . .
reports from the
Moreover,
Meuse River section indicate that
German successes are swiftly crippling the last phases of French resistance.
After three days of hard
marches, the German troops are reported to have halted temporarily
in the Village of Shapely-Anklnear Calfe, where they are meeting
with unprecedented success in
cleaning up the village. An eyewitness statement, made by Mile.
Secksy Hippe, local glamour girl
and recent May Queen of Meuse
A&M, said that the German soldiers were "terrific." "Chee , I aint
never seen the like in all my life,"
said Miss Hippe. "Why, de advances
dese Goiman boys make it's enough
to upset ya. And dis Goiman line,
Chee; All time they're trying to
cover a lot of territory, but ain't
none of 'em getting smart wit me.
Why just last nite. this Lieutenant
says to me. Poil,' he says Ver
wasting ya time here, babe. Why
in Boilin. you'd be the biggest movie
f tar ever they seen."
F. D. NAMED TO SOFT SPOT . . .
Reliable sources from the
offices stated tonite that
F. D. Roosevelt has been
named General Sales Promotion
Manager for Dupont Munitions
Company, Inc. Roosevelt, according
to the Board of Directors, has done
more in the past two weeks to help
the company get rid of its old surpluses and guns and stuff than all
the dictators in Europe. Said Roosevelt. "You Just gotta be slick, that's

:

Blitzkrieg War Wages Unabated
As Kelly Leads Slide Rule Boys
Engineering College Fell Down Yesterday

...

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.

Hollywood's Veigh
Gains Presidency

Board Selects Brand New Prexy

Report Says Lawyers
Are Holding
Their Own

"

ALGIEZ.BUZON

v, ,

Changing horses ( ?) in
an engineering communique last
night reported that Graham had
been overthrown in favor of Kop
Kelly, who usurped the government
by rash promises about love. Kelly
immediately issued order that the
blitzkreig war which threatens to
engulf the entire campus continue
boys
"unabated" until the slide-ruforce an entrance to the law colmid-strea- m

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IS STILL SITTING

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five. minutes after a Kernel photographer ambled by
and snapped this picture of two unidentified patriots attempting to hold up the sliderule boys' latest architectural miscarriage. The crash, which resulted from a
slipping foundation, could be heard as far away as
The bodies of the two martyrs could not be
found in the wreckage. When asked about the catastrophe, Dean Graham hurrumphed, "It must have been

...

Nich-olasvill-

BELGIAN KIDS CATCH HELL . . .
German troops tonight drove
through streets littered with the
bodies of dead and dying Belgian
children, sometime having to wade
through blood waist deep. The
troopers objected to this, saying it
was "silly," and in "wTetchedly poor
taste," but were persuaded by Associated Press photographers to go
ahead, with promises of beer.
"Hein," said the troopers, "what
these Americans won't do for news.
Imagine killing all those kids and
then hiring us to walk thru them.
But you know Americans, they're
crazy."
McVEY SPEAKS . . .
President McVey, doing a swan
Fpeech in Mem. hall, addressed a
large group of students today, on
the subject of College. In opening,
McVey said "Hello."
He continued, and concluded by,
saying, "June is a thrilling month."

e.

third termites."

An Unidentified Organization
Throws Brawl In Rear Room
An

unidentified

organization

en-

tertained with a general brawl following the appointment of Livien
Veigh to the presidency ot the University in the upstairs backroom of
an unidentified dive
Decorations were empty aeec and
whisky bottles and a fev unidentified women. The entertainment
of the evening was supplied by a
burlesque troop under the diieclion
of an unidentified publicity direc-

have them, the unidentified
pus cop said.

cam-

GRAGIS WANTS PEACE

Peter

A. Gragis,

with his usual
shyness, didn't want us to let it out,
but there's going to be a Peace
Meeting at 12 noon today in front
of the Union.
It is expected that a mess of
students will be present, they hope.

tor.
About 30 unidentified guests attended but haven't been seen since.
Walk on the grass, that's what
Anyone who can go their btil can it's there for.

WHAT THEY THINK
THEY THINK

Remember that propaganda and
censorship afTect all news from
these liers.
Official sources in the law college reported, that they were "still
holding their ground" and that only
a few windows had been shattered.
They declined to comment as to
whether this was internal or external work. Minister of War Vogeler
did admit that several members of
the parachute troops had dropped
through holes in the law college
roof.
Vogeler attributed his legalists'
loss of ground to a "fatal error' on
the part of one Bob Nash, who has
long been pursuing an appeasement
policy with the Graham government. Nash could not be reached
last night for comment, but it was
understood that he would evade the
charge, somehow, someway.
An earlier communique from the
neutral commerce college reports
e
that the
boys are
massing In Mclntyre's office. It is
believed that the Graham troops
will attempt a pincer movement on
the law college through this neutral
ground. The historic old Museum
was demolished early yesterday by
the aggressors in pushing forward
toward commerce. One Kernel
reported his surprise at
finding among the wreckage Commerce's Free Hunter who had been
masquerading as a neolithic prehistoric. It was believed that Hunter
had lost his way and stopped in at
the Museum to chat with his ancestors when the catastophre happened.
Mass movements of refugees were
reported in the Union building
where Shropshire lay simpering in
the corner. "My cash box! My poor
little cash box!" he moaned. Red
Cross Director Sarah G. Blanding
was sprawled in the middle of the
ballroom where her chassis had been
bombed. A Kernel reporter discovered tufts of hair on the floor and
traced these tufts to the head from
which they had been snatched. It
(Continued on Page Four)

After a concentrated
search by local police, Algiez Buzzon
was f Hind yesterday in the Dispensary. Young Buzzon had been missing from his corner in Murphy's
poolroom since February 4
why he had ni comWhen
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municated
with his poolroom
friends, he said he had been waiting in the Dispensary since his disappearance from Murphy s. and
his turn would surely come next.
This, the girl at the desk flatly
denied, "The doctor is busy," she
gargled. "You will have to wait in
line."
Examination of Buzzon by a
downtown physician revealed the
student had a broken leg and a deep
gash in his head which was u'l
bleeding profusely.
conBuzzon. still surprisingly
scious, explained
he had been
tripped by "Smoky" Joe Jackson,
another denizen of Murphy's "black
hole" while the two were fighting
over a cigar butt. The head gash was
attributed to the backlash of a billiard player.
His condition was reported aa
"fair," hospital attaches said they
thought they believed they were
told.

Crutcher Requests
Students To Walk
On Campus Grass

IXX.ff

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Choice Ends Trustees

Search
For Head

Year-Lon- g

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After a year of energetic
backtracking and retrenching, the University Board of Trustees yesterday named Dr. Livien
Veigh of Hollywood, Cal.. new president of the University to succeed
Dr. Frank L. McVey on June 1
The selection, described by authoritative sources as an attempt
to glamorize administrative education, came last night after an
meeting of the Board in Room
307 of the Phoenix hotel. Bellboys
said that during the meeting they
were
to supply sufficient ginger ale.
Doctor Veigh. who has made several educational motion pictures
dealing with sex below the Mason-Dix- on
line and life among London's
ladies of elastic virtue, is a prominent sex information expert. She
is president of the American Society for the Advancement of Agitation, and director of the National
Institute for the Promotion of Red
Corpuscles. She holds degrees from
the Universities of Sauk Center.
Belgrade and Minsk, and the Massachusetts Institute of Sexoicgy.
The Board of Trustees' decision
folowed a week of weighty delibera
tion of eligible candidates. Nominees were judged according to qualifications of waistline, calf size, hair
color, brand of lipstick, and general
accessibility. All of the members of
the Board state that Miss Veigh
was selected only after the most
careful study.
After being closeted with Doctor
Veigh in the hotel for an hour
Judge Richard C. Scowl,
chairman of the executive committee, said. "Figuratively speaking,
think we have chesen the righ'
person."
Another Board member
expressed the opinion that Dr
Veigh was "very understanding
Dr. McVey announced that ho
too was pleased with the choic-."May is a thrilling month." he sa: J.
"and doubly so now that Doctor
Veigh is here. Pass me the sMla.
please."
Doctor Veigh declined comment
last night, although her secretary
said the glamor doctor had alreadv
made plans for installing a nickel-odia- n
in the president's
office
Meanwhile, two nurses and six football players were applying cold
towels to Miss Veighs head in an
'Continued "
Page Two
man-derin- g.

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Three members of the Board of Trustees are shown
above as they chose Dr. Livien Veigh of California to
head the University for the next 20 years (or during
good behavior). Dr. Veigh was selected according to
qualifications laid down at a UK Senate meeting held
earlier this month.

According to official announcement late last fall from the offices
of Maury Crutcher, head of the
buildings and grounds department,
all students must walk on the grass
because the lawn mowers are broken and the University appropriations have been cut so much that
they don't have money to repair
the mowers any more.
Mr. Crutcher said he had other
more or less official organizations
which have been furthering a campaign to keep the grass down, were
forced to offer this ultimatum after
a little counter-campaiwhich
the Kernel ran was so successful.
gn

all-d-

hard-press-

y.

r

Horlacher To Rein Over Pigs, Chicks At Ag Festival

By "LET EM RACK"
Question: How would you improve
tlie air in the different "new" buildings on the campus?
ANSWERS
Chester Insko, Grad. Student
Well, I really don't know, but I do
think that it should be improved.
Thank you."
Golden-bo- y
Hughes. Some year,
"I really think
freshman maybe
that due to the supercilious vicarious
nature of the air you ought to try
and elevate the buildings."
"I
Joe Intermaggio, graduate
ain't been here to see the air, but
if it is as bad as Pete tells me it is

McGoIdrick Favored
As First Dairy

Maid

Coronation of L. J. Horlacher.
dictator of the cow college, as queen
of one of the ducky chicken shows
and pig parades which the college
has every week or so, was announced by Thomas P. Cooper, tired
and lonely, aloof director of experifarming
Remember that propaganda mental meeting yesterday following
a dull
of the farm council.
utid teusorship affect all news
Horlacher who was born several
hundred years too late in Jeepers
in The Kernel.
d
Creek, stole a diploma in
frog production from
then I think that it is up to Grahigh school in 18G0. He has
ham OBannon to fix it. Thank
long been notorious for his tyranyou."
Pete Gragis, Senior, "Right with nical glamour and dictatorial fasyou, Jo. but you know how some of cination.
From 4 to 5 a. m. Sunday mornthese Profs talk. With some of
thetn carrying on the way they do ing a section of the festival proit is hard to get any "pure" air in gram will have its burn yard ftench
aired thru University radio studios
any of the bldgs."
"I aided by the berps of Bromo Sulzer
John Russell, Eng. Senior
really ain't got nothing to say at who has been suffering from stomick
trouble.
this time. Thank you."
The radio program will include a
Ralph Jackowaski, Senior "I believe that if more of the profs corn husking contest so listeners
played football outdoors and left can hear the sound of the little
the buildings to take care of them- grains as they fall on the studio
selves that the stale air would soon floors and a two hour brief speech
I really don't by Cooper on how the farmers have
take care of the .
three-legge-

Hip-Leng- th

to raise more hogs, to market more
pork to feed more Europeans to help
the stock market to raise the price
of food so the city pepole can't buy.
so we'll all starve to death so we
won't have to go to war.
Queen-eleHorlacher will be
crowned by a broken bottle neck
from a pint of ole joe which he
will have consumed to bolster his
modest courage. Al Strauss, flunkey
for Oughta Data, an honery farm
club, will do the crowning, contriving to cut Horlacher's throat in the
process, so they can bury the prof,
so the farmers can be free again
and go native.
including
Educational
exhibits
ct

worn out pieces of harness, old
smelling overalls, bones from long
ago butchered cows, and an ole hoof
or two will be an added attraction.
A
milkmaids contest will climax the affair and it is
believed that Louise McGoIdrick.
wide-eye- d
innocent of the housekeeping department will be the winner. The girls will milk sea cows
if the men get back from whaling
in time.
Music for the mad farmer's fair
g
will be furnished by a
chorus from the engineer's pool at
a cost of several thousand dollars.
The engineers always get theirs
Fighting all year for the Job ol
buck-tooth-

buil-fro-

ringmaster have been John Tuttle and HE says that even more people
and Glenn Clay, embryonic seed are expected this year.
growers.
Tickets are being given away to- -'
Hook and Bridle 'em club will day and it is expected that Hot- hold a pledging orgey for some half
Remember that propaganda
wit boys fresh from the sticks and
and censorship tiffed all news
the boys will do some stunts.
Other features of the program in The Kernel.
will be a decayed-stoc- k
showmanship contest and a tin plate supper lacher will be paying five dollars to
under the auspices of the Happy every one who will guarantee to atHomemakers club.
An ole thin tend the mess. All cow college stuturkey and some worn eaten apples dents are threatened with life imwill be given as door prizes.
prisonment if they don't go. Well,
Five people attended the festival we mean.
last year, according to Franklin
Frazier, old broken down minister
If It's results you're after try ,
of propaganda for the farm school.
Carpets Little Liver Fills.

A

Student

..

11

11

nr as .vu uone
t
4 11

i--

In Fun
By Some Seniors

after paying Union
fees, senior fees, tuition,
etc., etc.
...

A handful of seniors put out tin:
paper today, with malice toward
none. It is customary to go iln
just once a year, and it's a lot of
fun.
We hope that nothing will be tak-- :
en seriously because it certainly

wasnt' written that

way.

THE SENIORS. Graduating

?

Kernel Dog Show Results

'

.

Seuii-weekl-

OF KKNTUCKY

LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY, FRIDAY.

Weak
World

FRIDAY IS5LE

Qualifications:
owner

Division I
Unusual fidelity on the part of dog and

Daisy Mae

Morry Hokomb
Sid Buckley
Jeanne
Bub Nash
Mary S.
At least 99 other entries in this class were disqualified
..

Runners up for ribbons were: M. V. W. (Scott Dickstein)

:

Division II
Qualifications: A reasonable assurance that dog will be
faithful to her owner and view versa.
Phil Carters
Joy Scott
Reggie Palmore
BirdslegS
Joe Creason
Sheila

Division HI
Qualifications:

Jack's Dot

o one knows, least of all

the judges.

Morgan
Robert Gaines
Bin Rodman

John

Rosalee
Virginia Girl

H- -

Lovings, a pedigreed pup. was entered but due to disputed ownership
Runners up: Hannah (George Lamason', Bennett (Jerome Day was disqualified. . . Cici Shumate entered Imp. Snag Houlihan but siimv
Leo (Keen A.shurst"; Biiius (Alan it was a female dog show, he was scratched.
Lula (Bob oany ttanas
'Chuck Lamed': Laura
Jo Reed, oiw "1 T'm
' Thai Olrl .M irthoH O1.!'.
t'"
.

VrH-rln-

.

* Page Two

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

w

lortified

Hoter than 10 nights In an ice
box, the Wildcat's coaching staff,
Bernie Shively and a dozen other
thugs, resigned last night in favor of
Mortified and Boied.
women's honorary.
n
The
came to a head
after a
intensive drive

by the beeriteers to gain athletic
dominance over the athletic chiefs.
Pitching a shut-oor shut up
game from the mound in the Biological gardens, the beer-garepulsed every drive by the mentors.
'We couldn't even make a pass."
sobbed Frank Mousely. better known
as the Man In the White Underut

rs

ls

show-dow-

ored Turns Heat On

At the end of the third inning,
8
afthe White Sox were ahead
ter Paul MacBrey. local claptomnn-ia- c
had stollen third, 10 carloads of
green bananas, and a handfu of

r

8l

Gun

Do YOU Want Peace?

hair.

stiff-armii- .g

Garments

TO ATTEND MEET

I lav

e You A

Little

'.mm?

We Can Provide

Dean Alvin E. Evans and a whole
unimportant faculty members left today for an unannounced
destination to attend the annual
conference on "Torts and Warts."
flock of

TO TELL CHEMS

0

WHAT HE KNOWS
Meeting Plans Include
Reer, Breakfast,
Talk

CAMPUSCENE
EARN d urine Tar a lien $5.00 and
op daily selling article appealing
lo housewife. One at least and
perhaps more for every home.
Write for Information to
Inc., ii's West Huron Street
Puntiac, Michigan.

Members of the American Chemical Societt finally arranged to get
a speaker for their annual beer
party to be held September 14 at
French Villa.
Dr. Percy Adolphus Futterbudget
of the National Association for the
Prevention cf Vivisection to Small
Insects will speak on "Irrerevanl
Factors Contributing to the Con-- i
sumption of Vital Vitamins M. L.
P. Q. and Y, as yet unseen by
microscope, in food products com-- i
Stone Walls do not a prison make
Not iron Lars a ca.e
monly consumed by man but preyed
upon by lighter than aircraft insects
which inhabit certain sections of
the University
Dispensary
and
Kastle hall."
His subject will concern a not
For Conscientious Objectors
very detailed study of the pitric
acid content of turnips and spinach where the effect of cooking
does not kill the insect or the acid
coasumed by them in the food products.
Doctor Futterbudget is a native
of Hula-hul- a.
Greenland, and holds
the degree of Advanced Loafing In
Chemistry from the University of
Murray. Murray. Ky.. and In 1905
he received an honery Ph.D. degree
from the Hawaiian University of
ta, a fraternity, who were naturally
Animal Diseases In recognition of
along on the party or any other
his work on chemical reactions to
party took blades of grass and
diseases common to horse flies in
chased them out.
V
the Kentucky Experimental Sta- Then a couple of stray football
tion.
players got hold of the shotput and
Time for the meeting has been
started throwing it. They were goset at 5 a. m. in room 1. Kastle
ing pretty good, too. till some of
By FRED HILL
hall so that the Doctor will have
the denisons of the Euclid Avenue
all day to explain his subject fully
jungle (not the Sigmanures, but
to an audience which will certainly
their neighbors) started complainnot be able to understand him.
ing about broken windows.
By HED TTSSING
lafai'tte Studio
The meeting is compulsory for all
Meanwhile, somebody went over
Let's see what have we to talk
chemistry majors and people who
to Rose Street and got another bot- about In a sporting way this week?
appear scientific. Including Harry
tle and started the
It Nothing, of course. Dear me, that
Zimmerman and Johnny Gay.
was a great race while it lasted. does leave me in a predicament,
A breakfast of dried turnips and
Handy Andy Slatt took the lead by doesn't it?
A bunch of the boys had a meetWith the current war developraw salted spinach will precede the
a nose (I think it was Joe most
Ah! I have it, we will discuss
ing in the intramural den the other
meeting. All persons desiring to atments indicating great success
poisonous man Creasol's snozzle) those denizens of the water, namely
afternoon and decided to assess the
tend the breakfast are requested
for the stinking Nazis, we feel
Greeks some more money and have until they rounded the third turn fish. Let's see again, let's talk about
to pay their fees in advance as It
of the second lap. Then Oawge oysters. I'm not sure that oysters
a trackmeet.
Kernel Dunnly, local miitarist. is difficult to collect for meals which
it only proper to salute the agMartini of Damntheir Dry Always are exactly fish since they don't announced plans for
Bob Coastguard, who was at- the ROTC's the Union serves after they have
,VT
nue- have fins, but then, I'm sure that
gressive leader of the U. K. "fifth
tired In a new spring suit green '
.
annual leg show to be held on the
(Catchy pun, stage of the Adameed next Thurs been consumed. Most customers die column."
Bul au lne wm,e our
them.
Jonnle won't
with purple Pin strioes with an In- Miss Patricia Hamilton
of acute poisoning.
Morgan, who had had plenty of ex- wasn't it?)
dian head-dreday. The regimental glamor boys
and moccasins to
has given her all to promoting
We will lecture about large oysters will pass In review at 6:30 p. m. bematch, (this is a plug line for a perience lapping in fishponds, was
and when and small oysters. We will talk fore the footlights and the booing
down town clothing store) took
better relationship between hercharge of the meeting. In doing She runners started into the home about pearl oysters, although it audience. They will pass out at 10
last Minute Sports
self and the other 3647 students.
Morgan and the judges had takes a good knitter to purl an oys- o'clock.
so he was ably assisted by Cliff
The brilliant sunshine Thursday
Her untiring efforts are bearing
Bully, whose chest was used as a lapped up the Mannerham (thats ter. However, that's knitter here
Absent this year will be such no- afternoon caused the finals of intom-toto assemble the suckers the Finisht line's mark (thats the nor there.
table" "shot with it's" as Frank tramural track to be postponed
bottle) and so the boys got tired
What does an oyster remind you Fowler Davis, Arthur Plummer. and until 2:30 p. m. tomorrow (Satur- fruit (and vegetables).
who went down with.
Anyway, after robbing the public and went home. Except Martin and of? Don't bother to think of an an- Bottlebeak Bill Young.
day in the hope that it might rain
of some more funds to buy candy Wally Hughes, pride of the Phi swer for I have one right here. It
"We certainly will miss them." then.
To show our disgust and confrom Pop he's the guy (aw, you Delts, and they went over to the reminds you of two things. The oy sighed Impressario
In case the Phi Taus win their
Dunnly. He exreminds you of a pawn broker and
know who I mean) they all lit up girls dorm.
pressed encouragement however for game today against somebody they tempt for such action, let us help
Next on the books was the smile the ster reminds you of prison. Thus
cigars, got the bottles out of the
the success of the show because of will play the Insipid Independents you out by giving you two of our
desks, and went out on Stoll Muscle rum. The competers really rared an oyster reminds you of a pawnof
sometime Monday afternoon, mabyf
the tremendous uniform-appe,
back and rolled off to a floating broker in stir.
Meadow to, as they said, have a
4 o'clock, on Stoll field, we think.
real American dinners.
There sits the pawnbroker on his J. O. Bell, Bob Scott. Tommy Brystart with the Kappa 8igs and the
track meet.
For further details consult your
KA's each placing men in the front palate and when you consider that ant, and Robin Sweeney.
First event on the program was
Man of War and we do mean war next week's paper or Moon River.
for cigarette the palate is the roof of your
the
dash. This event, as (probably looking
Legoon tobutts i. Anyhow they were going mouth you can fee how hard it post of the
you know, is like an extended
dash, and the first guy to get strong on the first lap. After that, would be to sit on. It's not like sit- day in a telegram to Dunnly sent
to the bottle at the other end of who knows? I cannot remember. I ting on any old roof. There sits congratulations to the war chief "for
Las Cucarachas, a Spanish club,
the pawn broker on his pallet, long- the great work you are doin? in will serve ice
the circle and take a snort out it was one of the judges.
cream popsicles tc
ing to get out and break pawns dragging the U. S.? into war."
is declared the winner. Tom Reah
anybody who can
"soat" in El
once more. There he sits behind
"Every man in the nation under
(Ray for Real was said by a bylock and key, not realizing that arms by July and into the trenches Diablo Blaneo's language following
stander to have crossed the line
a meeting at the home of Mrs
John Locke inspired the American by Christmas is our motto," the Server
first, but the Judges got hold of the
and Chico. Dr. J. E. HernanAmerlcan Legion and the Revolution and Francis Scott Key
..
propagandists' message ran.
nrize and so nobndv (hiit th iprftrp: gins arm team
dez will walk a tight rope proving
r
announced in an wrote our national anthem.
"Keep up the good work you are to students that As can be made
There he sits waiting for bail. If
After such a sorry beginning the exclusive Maieniem iusi mgni mat
they would do everything possible he were going deep sea fishing he doing at the University."
SAEs, who were already leading the
g
The show will open with a
to get us into war immediately. "If wouldn't be waiting for bail, he
Official AAA Service
rest of the
in the race !anyone
shoot the damn would be baiting for whale. He's Lee, featuring Ivan Potts. Addison
for the big beer mug they pay for
bct4s'
Leslie Von Huey. and Bill
cowards,"
urged.
ready to grasp at any straw. He Maxedon.
every year, suggested, threatened,
(Incorporated)
The Courier - Journal, Jasper hates to waste his time in prison
and pleaded that the whole thing be
War department officials will be
p
Complete
Shannon, and The Louisville Times when business is so good. He wants present to recruit any student indivvied up among their members
Service
to make hay while the sun shines terested. "This promises to be
but the members of Delta Tau Del- - are already at war.
PHONE 203
Vme at Southeastern Ave. 24 HOCR SESVICK
the
and he's willing to grasp at any biggest, greatest, mast
straw to make hay.
war yet. Come on and ign up: you'll
That brings us to haymaking. An never live to regret it." the war deEnglishman once tried to get a Job partment asserts.
making hay in Kansas, and when
The girl's drill team will give a
the farmer asked him what he could short but snappy exhibition, go
do, he replied that he could hoist through a marching formation,
and
8552
the hay into the barn. Only he said, wind up its program with a strip"'oist the 'ay." He said he was an tease.
oister. But, I don't believe that,
In the final feature event of the
do you?
evening. Tommy Bryant will count
If you want to know more about his medals.
the oyster, let's go to a telephone.
Let s scallop the oyster and talk
134 E. SHORT
to him. But I warn you. If you get
the oyster out of bed, hell be in
a stew. Oysters are shellfish that
way.
In a special bulletin from WashAnd that. I suppose (hope) brings ington last night all members of
us to the end of our little chat for the first and second year basic
today. Be sure to read this column course ROTC were instructed to
next week for I am going to talk bring in the brown rags they were
.
about the Kentucky baseball team. given in September by Kuhnel DonAlso there will be a cake reciept, and nelly and his SIA boys by May 32,
1960, or pay the penalty.
a chance for a set of dishes.
Furtherly the bull etin read. "If
B.M.A. MEETING CALLED youse guys don't do dis' by when
351
Kelley, batting practice wre'uns sez, youze will have a Divipitcher for the Kentucky baseball sion of Cavalry down on your dirty
files.
cavalry can't get
team, has announced
a special necks. And if de
meeting of the "B. M. A. Club" to no results, we'll send Sergeant "Who
SANDWICHES
be held today at noun in bis room said that" Perkins after you. And
if Perkins can't do no good, its
Inhere all can B M A.
SALADS
liable to be President Roosevelt or
Grandma Marr."
SCXDAES
When asked what they thought
of the order, most of the basic
SODAS
course men were afraid to answer
DISTINCTIVE FRAMES OF ALL SIZES
John Ed Pierce, a rebel from Vir-- ;
DRINKS
ginia where they grow sweet potaCUT FLOWERS
toes, corn, and Robert E. Lees, alone
thrust out his chest, showed his
and
EXCELLENT SERVICE IN
sunburn and made reply.
"Suh" he said "it took me two
CORSAGES
COLLEGIATE SURROUNDINGS
years to get them to let me wear
this thing, and I'm not going to give
417 E. Maxwell
it up now or ever. I like uni-- i
WE DELIVER
forms."
PHONE 2115
Main and Mill
PHONE 141
It was reported that 47 generals
'in Washington, hearing Jiis answer

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24, 1940

Shively!

FITTER BUDGET

13--

Then came the game's most dramatic moment. Standing on her own
35. Doris Dontudare intercepted a
shirt.
Suits Pressed 25c
pass
At the quarter. It was Horlaeher's some from Curwin and.
guys, dashed away to
Sin by two lengths, Hupp's Devil, by virginalfresh
safety. "Glib tounged Cura head, and Bernie's Boy by 10. In win
made the conversion. Hender-sho- t,
the stretch, and we do mean stretch,
REED'S DRV CLEANERS
MarFarlan, McXey, Raymond.
the game was called off on acRose at Euclid
Phone 623
Mack Faxlan dribbled down the
count of rain.
floor and went to grab top scoring
honors In the unusually thrilling
struggle. During the course of yesterday's scrimmage, she was accidentally kicked in the chin when
tackled. Immediately she went out
like a light.
Joe Reppart cracked off center
brought the coaches to the one yard
stripe, but an
penalty prevented the
from being
scored upon.
In the third round, Barbara Mac-fa- y
clad nattily In purple fighting
trunks and an un uplift bra
advertisement) scored a technical
knock-oover "Fatso" Strively in
the feature event of the evening.
Joe Huddleston and Jean McCon-ne- ll
neophyte beersters and really
put on a show for the howling spectators when they wTestled with passion. The event was held in Stoll
field and talk about covering more
territory than a frightened
that Huddleston is the man.
There were no holds barred and
Hendershot who was refereeing the
match was lost In the rush. By a
strategic move McConnell managed
to overcome Huddleston who retreated weeping from the field.
Karsner broke all records in the
walkarhon as he paced the corridors of a certain hospital waiting
for a certain event to take pjace,
They are cool
and when It happened he broke anand comfortother record In the high Jump. The
Mortifieds ratted out and refused
able. Just the
to compete in the events which they
thing for those
blushingly admitted was entirely
summer dressout of their field as yet.

2

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Leavenworth

it,

Alc