xt7rbn9x199k https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7rbn9x199k/data/mets.xml University of Kentucky Fayette County, Kentucky The Kentucky Kernel 19200227  newspapers sn89058402 English  Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, February 27, 1920 text The Kentucky Kernel, February 27, 1920 1920 2012 true xt7rbn9x199k section xt7rbn9x199k The Kentucky Kernel
UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY
LEXINGTON, KY. FEB. 27, 1920

VOL. X.

KERNEL TO HAVE NEW
FEATURE DEPARTMENT

HOLIDAY

1920

CELEBRATED

AT JOINT Y MEETING
r'

Requested
Contributions
Dr. Bush Talks on Two
For Section To Be Run
Great American
Once a Month
CHANCE

FOR

GENIUS

The Kernel wishes to inaugurate a
new feature section, to appear once
a month and cover ,one page provided the students of the University will
help to put it through and contribute
to it. We feel that there is real literary talent in the student body, talent
which should show itself in some tangible productions. It is the purpose
of this new department to gather these
literary gems and publish them all
together once u month. Without the
help of you who are the student writers and dreamers, we can do nothing.
We cannot write the copy ourselves.
If you have anything that you have
dashed off in moments of inspiration,
bring it to us, whether you think it is
good or not. Prose, poetry, essays,
stories, anecdotes, sketches anything
that you have written, bring it in to
us and we will print it if it is fit to
appear in decent society. All you
budding geniuses, here's your chance!

U. K.

MAN'S

INVENTION

HAS WIDE PUBLICITY

Carburetor Patented By
Professor Anderson Given
Pictorial Presentation
The carburetor, patented by Professor Charles H. Anderson, professor in the 'College of Engineering in

i

the University of Kentucky, and said
to be the most remarkable improvement on the gas engine invented in
it's history, is given pictorial public
presentation for the (first time in the
fourth edition of the Lexington Herald Screen Review, now being shown
at the Strand Theater, subsequently
being shown at other theaters in the
Blue Grass.
This device, made by Professor Anderson, is the result of two years'
work in experimentation in problems
of carburetion and is in line with the
work that Professor Anderson is
teaching in the University. It is stated that this device will be given commercial exploitation the forthcoming
spring with a number of prominent
Lexington people figuring in it's manufacture.' A number of tests have
been given to this device and it is said
to have stood most drastic examination. The carburetor is
and is claimed to do away with complicated vacuum feeding systems now
in use.

1.

44-

I

i

ANNOUNCEMENT.
The U. K. orchestra concert announced for Sunday afternoon has
been Indefinitely postponed.

rH

PLEDGES ANNOUNCED
OF SECOND SEMESTER
The second semester rushing resultof the following
girls:
Alpha Gamma Delta Jean Elliott,
Somerset.
Alpha XI Delta Isabel Darnall,
Mayslick; Mary Hurdy Ligon, Hick- mun.
Chi Omega Lucy Smith, Maysville;
Eleanor Morse, Lexington.
Kappa Delta Allio Russell Fish,
Lexington.
Kappa Kappa
Gamma Marjorio
Riddle, Lexington; Martha Van Meter,
Lexington.
ed in the pledging

Patronize Our Advertisers

MILITARY BALL

GIRLS IN DORMITORIES
ADOPT

A

MT

SYSTEM

Music For Dance Furnished Fourteen To Be Maximum
Number Allowed To
By U. K. Jazz Band

Each Girl

The Armory of the University of
Kentucky presented a gain appearance
for the Military Ball which was given
there Friday evening from 8:30 to 1
o'clock. Red, white and blue crepe
paper was interlaced, forming an imi
tation celling. The lights and windows were covered with the
strips of paper, wtiich were also
hung from the ceiling to the raised
platform where the University Trio
and the Jazz Band furnished the
music. Flags and swords were sus
pended along the walls. Members of
the battallion and former service men
wore the uniform of soldier or sailor,
and the girls were resplendent in evening dresses.
One particularly interesting feature
of the ball was the ladles' choice
dance, which came as the encore at
the end of the seventh
Punch and small cakes were served
throughout the evening.
The chaperones for this brilliant
social affair were President and Mrs.
McVey, and Mrs. A. S. J. Tucker,
Dean and Mrs. C. R. Melcher, Dean
and Mrs. P. P. Boyd, Dean and Mrs.
W. T. Lafferty, Dean and Mrs. F. Paul
Anderson, 'Dean Simrall, Dr. and Mrs.
W. D. Funkhouser, Professor and Mrs.
Enoch Grehan, Dr. and Mrs, John
Tigert, Professor and Mrs. Alfred
Zembrod, Miss Margaret McLaughlin,
Miss Frances Jewell, Miss Margaret
Stevens and Miss Dora Berkley.
A matter of peculiar pride to the
University was the favorable comment which was made on the music
and dancing on this occasion. The
dance music was modern and full of
"pep" and yet was not of the barbar
ous jazz type that has called forth so
much unfriendly criticism at modern
dances by cultured people..

Heroes
Special Washington's Birthday exercises were held Sunday night at the
Joint meeting of the Y. W. and Y. M.
C. A. in the Recreation Hall of Patterson 'Hall. Dr. Benjamin J. Bush
was the speaker and a special musical
program including a cornet solo by R.
Woodward and a duet by Josephine
Evan and Adele Slade was enjoyed.
George Gregory was the leader.
"The greatness of Washington and
Lincoln," said Dr. Bush, "was not that
they were geniuses but that they stuck
to their most baffling problems and
thought things through.
"Though in many ways different,
these two great American leaders
were linked together in many points,"
the speaker continued. "They were
both physical giants, both the sons
of border states where the very atmosphere made for the encouragement of the fearless utterance of convictions and the growth of moral
stamina. Both owed a great debt to
womanhood, Washington to his own
mother and Lincoln to his two mothers. They were alike surveyors and
soldiers and both received honors in
their respective states.
"Each in his own environment was
a great moral tower of unswerving
honesty. Washington's word was as
good as gold; the goods sent to be
sold )n England from Mt. Vernon were
never questioned as to weight or value put upon them by the owner of the
estate. Lincoln was known in Illinois
as 'honest Abe.'
"Neither Washington nor Lincoln
could be termed brilliant. It has been
said, however, that greatness is a ca
pacity for sincerity and as year suc
ceeds year the sincerity of Washington and Lincoln will stand out untainted and crystal clear."
During the social hour which succeeded the exercises, refreshments of
ices, cakes and nuts were served.

No. 19

three-colore-

CLIFFORD E. SMITH.

ORATORICAL CONTESTS
AT UNIVERSITY SOON

Clifford E. Smith To Be U.
K. Representative In
Meets
VISITORS ARE JUDGES
Clifford E. Smith, a freshman In
the College of Law, who has won out
In all preliminary contests, will represent the .University of Kentucky in
the two oratorical contests that will
take place here March 1, and March 5.
The Kentucky Intercollegiate Oratorical' Association will be held in
chapel March 1, with representatives
from Transylvania, Centre, Georgetown, Berea and Kentucky Wesleyan
to compete. The judges will be
Professor H. G. McGrane, University
of Cincinnati; 'Professor :C. W. Park,
University of Cincinnati;
Professor
V. A, Kotcham, Ohio State University.
The winner of this contest will repconresent Kentucky In the inter-stattest against winners of state contests
In Ohio, Indiana, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois and Michigan.
The second contest, the Southern
Interstate Oratorical League will be
held March 5. Representatives from
of Virginia,
the state universities
North Carolina, Alabama, Johns HopThe following
kins and Vanderbilt.
list of orations will be given:
"The Shantung Question," Clifford
E. Smith, Kentucky.
"Our Unloyal People," Deney Whit-nolVanderbilt.
to Bolshevism,"
"The Alternative
Meyer Lavensteln. Virginia.
"The Present Crisis in American
Democracy," George Goetz, Johns Hopkins.
Win. Bobbltt, North Carolina.
The Judges who will render the decision in this contest will bo Profos-so- r
H. S. Woodwurd, Western Resorvo
University; Professor C. II. Thurpor,
Purdue University, and Professor B.
C. Van Wyo, University of Cincinnati.
e

BASEBALL SCHEDULE.
University of Kentucky, 1920.
April 2 or 3 Wabash, here.
April 5 or 6 Georgetown, hero.
April 10 Michigan, hero.
April 16 Miami, here.
April 17 Centre, there.
April 20 Depauw, here.
April 24 Cincinnati, here.
April 30 Tennessee here.
May 1 Tennessee, hero.
May
Cincinnati, there.
May 7 Miami, there.
May 8 Depauw, there.
May 10 Wnbash, there.
May 11 Indiana
or Michigan.

i,

G

there.
Georgetown, there.
Centre, hero.
Dates for four games with Tran
sylvania iCollego will bo announced
later.
May 15
May 25

;

OFFICES

RESTRICTED

At a mass meeting of the Student
Government Association held last
Thursday evening at Patterson Hall,
a point system was adopted for the
purpose of restricting the number of
offices which may be held by any one
member of the association. While the
system has not yet been thoroughly
worked out, It was decided In the ruling which was passed by the body that
fourteen should be the maximum number of points given to any girl. Points
will be graded on a scale of ten, eight,
six, four, two, every office being counted according to the time required and
the responsibility which the office carries. The exact number will be determined at a meeting of the presidents of all organizations in which
women students are eligible for membership.
It is hoped that the use of the point
system will lead to greater efficiency
in every activity of the University.
(Continued oa Page 7)

SEAT SALE BEGINS

FOR

Play of Dramatic
Organization Assured
Unrivaled Success

Annual

Anticipating
the annual Stroller
production, "The Climbers," for which
the cast is now rehearsing and which"
the Strollers hope to give the last,
week in March, a number of clubs,
on the
societies and organizations
campus have already made inquiries
for tickets. This fact alone has inspired the Strollers to new efforts;
It is confidently believed that the 192Q
play will be the most largely attend
ed of any play given in the history off
the Stroller organization.
It is also known that calls for tlckr
ets have come from various towns
Kentucky from persons
sons, daughters, comrades and'
friends In the Stroller cast, will
be In the audience that night. It has'
been the custom for certain fraternities and sororities to purchase boxes
and blocks of seats so that they might
enjoy tho play together; and also to
decorate tho boxes In fraternity colors. But ns tho former aro limited to
only four in the Lexington Opera
Houso, It has been deemed advisable
to speak early for seats and it might
not bo unwise for such organizations
to ribbon off their blocks of seats.
All of tho boxes hnvo been sold already. Thoso wanting seat reservations should speak to Bob Itaible, bus- (Continued on Pago Two)

* THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

PAGE 2

STRAIN D

CONCERTS DAILY, AFTERNOON AND EVENING

ALL AMERICAN
ORCHESTRA

THE STRAND
"The Best Orchestra

In

the South"
Everybody Says So.

MEN MAY
SECURE

Open IO A. M. to 11 P. M.

FARM LANDS

One Hundred and Sixty
Acres in Wyoming Offered By Government
men who arc so inclined
may secure 1G0 acres of farm land In
Wyoming, according to Information
sent out recently by the United States
Department of Agriculture.
According to an announcement made
by Secretary Lane of the Department
of the Interior, a bill has been passed
by Congress giving
men sixty days priority in filing on land for
homestead purposes and that privileges under this recent law granted
to
men will be, permission
to file on lands in the recently completed irrigation projects of "North
Platte" and "Shoshone" in the State
of Wyoming. This land has been leased for grazing purposes but now upon
the completion of these irrigation
projects by the Reclamation Service
the leases have been recalled and the
land will be thrown open to homestead settlement.
Priority for the
men will
extend from March 5, to May 4, on
the North Platte section and from
March 13, to May 12, on the Shoshone.
Another feature of the homestead
privilege for
men is that
they will be given credit for the time
that they served, in the army, navy or
marine corps during the Mexican border trouble and the world war. This
credit will count towards the three
years' residence on the land, required
by the homestead law, and the credit
for service will be up to two years.
Five months leave of absence out of
c

Adults

each year Is also nllowed. Therefore,
If a man had two years' service to
his credit, it would take off two ycat
of the three required for residence
and with the five months leave of ah
sence, ho would have to reside on the
land only a total of seven months before he could pet n clear title to his
1G0 ncrcs.
This should be worth nn Investigaman and anytion by every
one who is Interested should see Harry Cottrell, in the Ag. Building or the
He has
Department of Journalism.
several pamphlets showing the loca
tion of available public lands for sct- tlment and Information as to the
for former
homestead requirements
soldiers, and "dope" on the opening
of the irrigation projects in Wyom
ing.

LITERARY SOCIETIES
PHILOSOPHIAN.
Professor Farquhar met with the
Philosophlan Literary Society last
Wednesday evening at 6:45 o'clock in
the Recreation Room of Patterson
Hall and discussed the play, "Wolves
and the Lamb," which is to be given
by the society in the spring. Members were selected for the prelimin
s
ary
to be held Thursday
afternoon.
As soon as the cast is decided upon
work upon the play will begin in earn
est under the direction of Professor
Farquhar.
try-out-

PATTERSON.
The Patterson Literary Society met
last Friday in Mechanical Hall, when
one of the most delightful programs
of the year was presented.- A grad
uate of the class of '16, an old Patterson man, who was on the debating
team which defeated Congressman

Admission

HOME

Paramount, Artcraft, Metro, Realart,
Goldwin and Select Pictures.

Children, 18c, plus War Tax, Total 20c.

27c, plus 3c War Tax, Total 30c.

REMEMBER

King Swopo nnd his colleagues nt
Centre several years ngo, Professor
Julius Wolf, made a very interesting
nnd instructive talk on "The Genius
of Edison."
J. A. Estes, known on tho campus
as "Simp," recited two original poems,
"A Dissertation on tho Abuse of tho
Slang Lingo," nnd "Tho Lonk of
Garthygingle."
H. B. McGregor completed this part of tho program with
a humorous reading.
The following officers for the secsemester were elected at tho
meeting also:
R. D.
President,
Warth; vice president, George Robinson; secretary,
H. B. McGregor;
treasurer, F. P. Bell; critic, C. E.
Smith.
ond

"THE BEST IN MOVING PICTURES"

THE CLASSY PLACE
FOR THE COLLEGE STUDENTS
CANDIES AND LUNCHES

HOME-MAD- E

McGurk & O'Brien
"EVERYTHING NEW"

PHOENIX FRUIT STORE
FOR FRUITS, CANDIES, NUTS
PHOENIX BLOCK
BECKER DRY CLEANING CO.

SEAT SALE BEGINS FOR

Cleaners
That

STROLLER PRODUCTION.
(Continued From Page 1)
iness manager, at once.
Professor Lamport will be asked to
prepare a program of preludes and interludes especially adapted to the occasion, and it is understood that
young musicians in .the .University are
greatly interested in the event.
Many professors of the University
have already indicated their intention
of being present for the purpose of
making this a real University night.

W. B. GRIGGS
Opposite Agriculture Building
CIGARS,
CIGARETTES, TOBACCO
AND SOFT DRNKS

Satisfy

WE ARE ALWAYS ON THE JOB WHEN YOU WANT ANYTHING
CLEANED, PRESSED OR REPAIRED.
PHONE

621--

Cropper s Laundry
(Incorporated)

PHONE 210

114 N. UPPER

STEP IN AND SEE ME

C. D. CALLOWAY & CO.
FOOTBALL SUPPLIES, SWEATERS, KODAKS,
DEVELOPING AND PRINTING.
I4t WMt Main

Strtst

Ltxlnfton,

Ky.

Graves, cox & Co.
OFFER SPECIAL VALUES IN

Warm Winter Overcoats at
Union and Two-PieUnderwear at
New style in Soft Hats, special at
ce

$39.50
$1.90
$4.50

JUST TO FEW LEADERS TO "SHOW YOU"
THE GREAT VALUES TO BE HAD HERE.
hats for
dressers.
Fitting crowns for fastidious men.
The new Spring styles are perfect combinations

Tip-to- p

top-not-

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of style, quality and value.
Men who demand distinctive Hats will find' just
the shape, shade and quality they want here now.

Soft Hats and Derbies that you will enjoy
ing and wearing.

United Qpidm

jvrores

INCORPORATED

see-

OF

Graves, cox & Co.
Incorporated.

* THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

PAGE 3

OF FIRST

Down Town

MEMORY BOOKS $4.50.

TERM IAKEP0SITI0NS

KODAK ALBUMS 50 Cents ot .$8.00.

Eight Will Return in June

PENNANTS

To Receive Diplomas

.$1.00

and up.

Meeting Place

Orders taken for special College and
Pennants and Banners.

Yo good old college clnys are gone
hut not forgotten to six of the eight
graduates who finished
their college work In the University
of Kentucky, at the end of the first
semester, and are to receive their dl
plomas in June with the remaining
seniors. The one girl graduate and
four of the men have already accepted positions, while two nre taking up
work in the University
and the remaining two have gone to
their respective homes.
Those who have accepted positions
are, Lofton Burge, who has gone to
Akron, Ohio, as an Industrial chemist;
Ed. Dabney is with a law firm In
Shreveport,
La.; Cecil Heavrln Is
working in one of the tobacco warehouses of this city and Miss Rebec-caParitz is working in a Cincinnati
lawyer's office.
Neal Sullivan and Jesse Tapp are
work, Eldon
taking up
Dummitt has gone to his home In
Missouri and Henry Grehan will remain at his home in Lexington for a
month or more before going to work.

for

FRATERNITY STATIONERY
we haven't your Fraternity Paper we can
If
get it for you.

University Boys

COLLEGE STATIONERY,
DANCE INVITATIONS,
DANCE PROGRAMMES

e

Open Until 8 P. M. Every Evening

High Class
Haberdashery

SENIORS, ATTENTION!
Please leave your order now for Caps and
Gowns, also engraved cards.

h

College Boys Styles in Our Special Designed Clothes

linlvcr$ii Book store
Basement Main Building.

DOBBS FIFTH AVENUE HATS
MANHATTAN SHIRTS

233 West Short St.

Most Complete Assortment of Silk Shirts
We Earnestly Solicit Your Patronage

DEPARTMENTAL CLUBS
At a meeting of the Agricultural
Society held Monday evening at 7:30
o'clock in the Agricultural Building
the following program was presented:
"Functions of Home Economics," Fan
nle Heller; "Bits of Color," Robert
Mitchell, Jr.; "Western Agriculture,"
Jack Dorr.
"Motion Pictures"

was the subject

of. the program at the meeting of the
English Club Monday evening, Febru-

ary

o'clock in the girl's rest
room of White Hall.
After an Introductory talk by Miss
Frances Jewell, who was in charge of
the meeting, the following program
was presented:
"Influence of Motion
Pictures on the Small Town," Frances
Marsh; "Leading Motion Picture Companies," Catherine Herring; "Evolution of Motion Pictures," Lucille
Moore, and "Comedy in Motion Pictures," Edna Smith. Refreshments
were served afterwards.
16,

at

8

ANNOUNCEMENT.
Owing to the inclement weather,
and the sickness of a number of the
members the University orchestra,
Carl Lampert, director,
Professor
will not give the concert announced
for Sunday afternoon.

Geddes & Luigart

Mammoth Garage Co.

Phoenix Block
GEO. GEDDES

(Incorporated)

GENE SULLIVAN

"Let's Get Acquainted"

Studebaker
Automobiles
"That Good Gulf Gasoline'
and Supreme AutojOils

;

Ours is the Quality Shop
The finest and most complete exclusively retail Optical establishment
anywhere in the South.
A faithful and accurate Optical Service in all its branches.
EYES examined by an Optometrist Intimately familiar with the most
Intricate problems of refraction.
The grinding of the lenses, the expert fitting and all other details
are accomplished within our establishment.
WE FEATURE ONE DAY SERVICE

Fayette Optical Shop
Everything for the Automobile

H. CLAY

East Main Street.

Dick Webb, President.

ODENBAUGH,

Optometrist

WELSH & MURRAY PRINTING CO.
COLLEGE STATIONERY

LOST.

Those Girls Mayme "I have so
many callers pestering the life out of
me hardly know what to do with
them all."
Grayco "Why, how long have you
been a telephone operator?" Baltimore American.

Lexington, Ky.

Phone 3972

W. Main St.

313-31- 5

Small silver wrist watch on a
leather band in the dressing room of
the girls' gym., Thursday, February 5.
Finder please return to Llllle Cromwell, Patterson Hall. There will be
remuneration.
Signs of Spring.
A Senior girl has Bhed her coat
And Is a bit inclined to gloat,
She's not afraid of flu.
It's like the little boy who'd been bad,
And asked the wind If anyone had,
And the wind said, "You!" said

GEO. LUGIART

ENGRAVING
iGRADDY-RYANiX-

O.

AND

Incorporated

DIE STAMPING

THE COLLEGE BOYS' STORE
Clothing, Furnishings, Hats, Shoes and Tailoring

DE LUXE
'Ladies9 and Gents' Tailors

FRAT and DANCE PROGRAMS

Pianos
Player Pianos
Columbia Grafonolas
Aeollun-Vocallo-

Ltxlitfttn,

Ky.

PHONE

592

Established
1899

n

Records
Musical Instrument
Player Rolls
Sheet Music

Everything Pertaining to Music
Moving, Tuning, Repairing and Reflnishing

Competent Home Tailors
iMk 4 Tract lulltflitf, 2nd Fleer

LEXINGTON, KY.

The E. C. Christian Music Co.

P. ANGELUCCI

Unto

N. LIMESTONE

124-12- S

Pianos a Specialty

Phene 177frY
205-20-

7

East Main

Lexington, Ky.

* THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

PAGE 4

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL
Published every Friday throughout tho College year by the student body
of the University of Kentucky, for tho benoflt of tho students,
nlumnl nnd faculty of the Institution.
Tho Kentucky Kernel Is tho official newspaper of the University. It
is issued with a view of furnishing to its subscribers nil tho college news
of Kentucky, together with n digest of items of interest concerning the
Universities of other States nnd Canada.
SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS A YEAR.
FIVE CENTS THE COPY.
mall matter.
Entered at Lexington Postofflcc as second-class

EDITORIAL STAFF.
A. GAVIN NORMENT- Louise Will

EDITOR-IN-CHIE-

.Managing Editor
Managing Editor
Editor
.Squirrel Food Editor
.Sport Editor
.Exchange Editor
.Feature Editor

.Assistant

Robert Raiblo
Adole Slado
Mary Elizabeth James.
Donald .Dinning
Margaret McClure
Frances Marsh

-- Co-ed

REPORTERS.
Elizabeth Marshall, Elizabeth Card, Mary Archer Bell, James A. Dixon,
Margaret Smith, Martha Buckman, Robert MItchel, Terril Corn.
Harry Cottrell.
BUSINESS STAFF.
.
Business Manager
J;. P. Barnes
Circulation Manager
H. B. Loyd
Assistants
J. Burton Prewitt, Gilbert Smith
ATTEND THE CONTESTS.

And tnkc him on my rounds.
"THE
BLUES."
We'd call on Professor Miller nnd say
we couldn't see
When tho evening shndows
flit
His biologic curve of grades that left
through tho window-pane- ,
mo with nn "E."
I seek tho study table, nnd open my
books again,
If I hnd n nice trained octopus
And I sing a mournful ditty, the sad
With tentacles nlno feet long
dest I can sing,
I'd tench him to fight
"The
Blues"
With nil his might
Whene'er I got In wrong.
I cram the useful knowledge Into a
We'd call on Doctor Funkhouser nnd
softening brain,
tell him we didn't think
And tho stuff I don't remember would
That n misspelled word of some awful
drive a nut Insane;
bird should need so much red
,
So I write It In a
and sing
Ink.
this wild refrain:
If I hnd u nice strong solvent
"The
Blues"
HF or HN03
I'd make It a pet
REFRAIN.
And then you bet
The wee little
I'd get what's comln' to me.
That cost a small dime,
We'd call on Mighty Maxon and ask With it's characters nnd figures
him to explain
It's knowledge sublime.
Why he should bawl me out in class We love the denr
because I failed again.
Though their pnges often are vague
And we study the scribbles
If I had a nice fat bacillus
We have In class made;
The wickedest kind that grows
And ponder and wonder
I'd bring him up
At the meaning of the scars ,
pup,
Like a
On the margin of pages
And lead him by the nose.
What'n the
are they for?
We'd call on Doctor Sherago, this baFRIZZY.
cillus and I
NOTE-BOO-

Note-boo-

note-book-

Note-boo-

note-boo-

note-book- s

The University of Kentucky has been designated as the convening
place of two outstanding, important oratorical contests, the Kentucky International Oratorical Association, March 1, and the Southern Interstate
Oratorical League, March 11.
These contests should be occasions of outpouring of students, who
come ready to support their representatives in mental combat with the
same vigor which is exhibited in their support of their representatives
who engage in battle on the athletic field. The manifest decline of interest In oratory In the South is a fact greatly deplored.
The men who are to represent the University in these contests have
had training as intensive and difficult in this line as the training a varsity man undergoes. So is It fair to give hearty support to one and Ignore
the efforts of the other?
The University has always been ably represented In oratorical meets
of the student body
and many honors have been won, but the
is necessary to gain desired success. In the second of these contests our
visitors will be members of faculties and student bodies of a large number of southern state universities, and the impression of the University
of Kentucky as carried away by these visitors on their return to their own
universities depends on us.
They must see Kentucky as she really is, an enthusiastic,
group of girls and boys, keenly alive to the highest interand
ests of their Alma Mater.
It is the privilege and duty of every member of the faculty and student
body to attend and support the team.

well-traine-

a microscope that
he was doomed to die.

And prove without

I had a nice trained instrument
For tortune in dungeon or cell
I'd set a trap.
And think mayhap
I'd done my duty well
We'd hope to catch a science prof and
then I'd like to see
If I could not get even for the things
they've done to me.

If

VICTIM.

wide-awak- e

d

A. S.

QOTRREI

FOOD
The Kentucky
suh, heredity Is
father believes
gins to act like

Colonel says: "Well,
something that every
in until his son be
a nut."

mid-ter-

Ed. Parker: I'll bite. What is It?
Grehan: A date with a peach.
!

To hear Terrell Corn address Margaret Smith as "Marg," one would
think he said "Morgue" but she is
far from dead yet.

"Daddy," asked a mite of eight summers, "God makes us do the good
things, doesn't he?"
"Yes," replied the father.
Pat Hall Pastimes.
"And Satan makes us do the naugh-t- The thrill of the ring of a telephone
things?"
bell
"Yes."
Sounding through the corridor.
"Well, who makes us do all the A moment's pause an echoing yell
Oh! I wonder who it's for.
funny things?" London Post.
Call for Miss Arabelle Linda Lee
"I hope the folks at home don't kick
Jones.
I wonder Just who she could be;
up a row about my grades," said the
Knight of the Lexington Drug. "They I wish I'd be called to one of the
ought to know from past experience
phones
Yes? Hold it! I'm coming! It's
that I come through my exams with
perfect ease." (E's.)
me!
y

"Any of you got an old uniform?"
asked the sergeant.
A private, scenting a new one,
proudly displayed his frayed edges
and stains.
"It isn't fit for much, is it?" commented tho surge. "Parade at
for a coal fatigue."

Mademoiselle On Dit says: "The
picture was positively
She kissed the hero and he had a
mustache!"
hair-raisin-

REVENGE.

two-thirt- y

Henry Grehan:
Ed, what is
sweetest combination of fruits?

the

If

had a nice pet dlnasaur
That weighed ten thousand pounds
I'd feed him right
And treat him white
I

YEA, VERILY
(Showing How
Pursueth
Sorrow
Doggedly the Footsteps of the College Man.)
Yea, verily, a man pursueth Knowledge as a boy who looketh for a pot
of gold at the end of the rainbow.
The brain is muddled, and the pocket- book flatteneth itself out, when a man
steereth his ship toward the Harbor
of Knowledge. All is indeed Vanity
and a striving after wind.
Father receiveth a pain when the
report of his promising offspring cometh to his hand. He tear
eth his hair and stampeth .the dust
of the field on the carpet of the best
room in the house. He bruiseth the
floor of the kitchen with his
l
ed shoes. Yea, the impact of his fist
Jarreth the dishes on the table, as
the dogs and the cats of the old home
stead look solemnly at each other and
make a motion to adjourn. Mother
gathereth her apron to her face and
sheddeth a briny tear therein. Then
she goeth straightway to .the Lord of
the House, and pad fie th his Majesty
with sweet soothing words, after this
manner: "Now Father, thou shouldst
not be so hard on our darling child;
he hath been spitefully misused and
harshly dealt with, and It remaineth
for us to comfort him in his adversity,
and bear with him in his few shortcomings!"
Thus she turneth away
the wrath of, her Lord and the dear
Beloved stayeth at the University.
Even so, but the tortune of their
absent one goeth on. ' As the river
floweth ever toward the sea; as the
sun appeareth in the East in the morn
ing, and disappeared in the West in
the evening, so contlnueth the misfortune of the College Man. His days
are long and fraught with sorrow,
even tho he sitteth in the seat of the
righteous and walketh In the way of
tho godly. Selah!
hob-nai-

SOLOMON

II.

A

PRAYER.

Fortune, with heavy heart I see
How the professor wearily
Scratches zeros down.
0 make my bare brain fertile
For his sake!
Here In my poor thick
There's treasured naught, for all's
forgot
Of mathematics divine,
The knowledge fled of proof and sign.
offer my brain, pour the knowledge
through
Of squares and cubes, equations, too,
I who have not tried before
Try at last with conscience sore.
1

But let this great miracle be
Wrought with care and patiently,
My clogged brain does slowly run,
Sums by me were never done.
Fortune, pity my woeful stress
Make the awful zeroes less
For howsoever hard I try
I only get the rules awry!
And in each quiz make me aware
When a's a cube and b's a square
Then through a maze beyond my ken
I'll get a D at last. Amen.
"HAM."

PRESS ASSOCIATION
ASKS
The Press Association of the University, a student organization, serving newspapers throughout the State,
with Information affecting activities of
students in publications in counties
whence they came, would appreciate
it If the students would
with our reporters when called upon,
by giving them promptly and accurthey seek. The
ately, Information
purpose of our work Is to acquaint our
homefolk with the progress made from
time to time by their sons and daughters while in school, and thus to establish closer personal relationship
between the people of the Commonwealth and the University of Kentucky. Our work is constructive. We
seek Information concerning only the
commendatory activities of our comrades, preferring to leave the rest, If
there be such, in the keeping of the
informant.

WOMEN'S CLUBS TO
MEET HERE FRIDAY
Annual District Convention of Kentucky Federation To Be Held
at University
The annual district convention of
tho Kentucky Federation of Women's
Clubs will be held In the Administration Building of the University Friday
morning, beginning nt 10 o'clock.
Tho Woman's Club of the University
of Kentucky will be hostesses for the
convention. Miss Ada May Cromwell,
of Frankfort, district chairman, will
preside.
Miss Bertha Holley, of New York,
will be one of the speakers. Her sub
Ject will be, "Principles of Art Applied to Dress."
The program has been announced
as follows:
10:00 Prayer, led by Dr. Frank L.
McVey.

10:05 Selections, Miss Martha Coff- man, Georgetown.
10:20 Address of Welcome, Mrs.
Paul P. Boyd, president of the Woman's Club, University of Kentucky.
10:30 Response, Mrs. Allle Dicker-soFrankfort.
10:40 Reading of minutes, Mre. J.
G. Marks, Georgetown.
10:50 Election of vice chairman
and secretary of the Seventh District.
10:55 Report of chairman of Seventh District.
11:00 Reports of State Federation
chairmen.
12:10 Report of clubs of Seventh
District.
1:00 Luncheon at Maxwell Place,
Mrs. F. L. McVey's residence.
2:00 Message from Mrs. Lafon
Riker, president of Kentucky Federation of Women's Clubs.
2:10 Address Wellington Patrick,
director of 'University Extension.
2:30 Address Miss Josephine Slm-ral- l,
dean of women, University of
Kentucky.
2:45 Musical program.
3:00 Address by Mrs. Bertha Holley, New York City.
n,

U. K. ARTISTS GIVE
TREAT TO STUDENTS
Professors Cornell and Noe Entertain
Chapel Audience.
The students and faculty who attended chapel Tuesday were given a
very rare treat In the program rendered by two professors of the University.
Professor Cornell, former director of
the band at the University of Iowa,
rendered two trombone solos, "Sweet
Evening Star," b