xt7s4m91ck98 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7s4m91ck98/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2005-01-14 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers English Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel The Kentucky Kernel, January 14, 2005 text The Kentucky Kernel, January 14, 2005 2005 2005-01-14 2020 true xt7s4m91ck98 section xt7s4m91ck98 Friday

January 14, 2005

www.kykernel.com
newsroom: 257-1915

First issue he Subsequent issues 25 cents.

I < THE KENTUCKY

rnel »

New column gives
philosophy on life's intricacies

Page 3

Celebrating 33 years of independence

In our opinion: Our wishlist
for Student Government

Page 6

the first UK win against a ranked oppo

DeMoss gets

By Lindsey Keith
KENTUCKY KERNEL-

Walking out of the back of
Rupp Arena. Angela Phillips
screamed into her cell phone
that the Cats had won.

The UK sophomore point
guard had to swear to the per-
son on the other end of the
phone that she was telling the
truth.

After the UK women defeat-
ed No. 18 Georgia 71-68 last
night in front of 6.243 at Rupp
Arena. even the players had a
hard time convincing people
they had actually pulled off the
upset.

“It is always a great win be-
cause of the tradition Georgia
has." said UK head coach Mick-
ie DeMoss. “So I guess you could
say it was a statement win."

The Cats ended an almost
ﬁve-year streak of not beating a
ranked opponent. and broke
Georgia’s streak of eight-
straight victories against them.

UK (12-5. 1-1 Southeastern
Conference) used a 22-4 spurt
midway through the ﬁrst half to
pull away from Georgia (135. 2-2
SEC). However. the talented
Georgia team battled back from
18 points down to make it a six-
point game nearing the end of

mm
The UK women's basketball team celebrated a 71-63 upset win over No. 18-ranked Georgia last night at Rupp Arena. It was

nent in five seasons.

ﬁrst big win;

Cats upset No. 18 Georgia

the half. But the Cats used an-
other quick run to give them a
12-point lead at half.

“The game was won or loss
right there.“ said Georgia head
coach Andy Landers.

After an overtime loss at Al-
abama on Jan. 9, the Cats re-
bounded strong with a rejuve-
nating SEC win.

"It was a great win for Ken-
tucky women‘s basketball,"
DeMoss said. “it was a win we
had been waiting on for quite a
while. Coming off a loss at A1-
abama like we did. it just says a
lot about this team."

The Cats led by 12 at the half.
but still had to come out and
face a determined Georgia team
in the for another 20 minutes.
The Bulldogs made two runs at
UK. but freshmen center Sarah
Elliott could not be denied on
the offensive end. She finished
with a team—high 15 points. and
scored eight of the Cats last 10
points.

“Mickie DeMoss said put
(the ball) into Sarah's hands."
Elliott said. “Unfortunately. I
did not make all the shots I was
hoping for. but it was still a big
pick up for all of us."

On the defensive end. senior

See Upset on page 8

UK 71, No. 18 GEORGIA 63

nun STAFF

Potts boils Cats
a savory victory

In UK's decked-out shrine
to college basketball. Coach
Mickie DeMoss blew down
Georgia’s
house of
cards last
night.

Around
the South-
e a s t e r 11
Conference
the final
5 c o r e
f l a s h e d .
“ M i c k i e
DeMoss has
arrived."

Led by a
freshmen class that is becom-
ing sensational. a senior
leader with 3-point dexterity
and a secret healthy weapon
playing her ﬁrst game in two
weeks. UK upset No. 18 Geor-
gia 71-63 at Rupp Arena.

Senior forward Sara Potts
was counting the seconds un-
til tip-off after fouling a half-
court Alabama shooter when
time expired. sending UK into
an overtime loss in
Tuscaloosa last Sunday

No worries tonight. it
wouldn‘t be that close.

See Savor on page 8

Derek
Poore

iii—RNEL cowumsr

Crawford likely to enroll at MSU

By Ben Roberts
mt “trunnion

Departed UK guard Joe Craw-
ford is likely to enroll at Michigan
State University. Crawford's mother
Sylvia told The Detroit News yester-
day.

The Wildcat freshman left UK

Monday after he and his parents
met with UK head coach Tubby
Smith.

The Detroit native averaged 3.8
points and 2.4 rebounds over UK‘s
ﬁrst 12 games of the season.

His 13.3 minutes per game were
the most among UK's reserves. but
he played a season-low 3 minutes in

Sunday‘s loss to No. 2 Kansas.
Crawford cited playing time as a
reason for his departure.

Sylvia Crawford told The De-
troit News that MSU head coach
Tom 1220 had been in contact with
the family since UK granted the
player a release to talk to other

See Crawford on page 2

Grant program
needs entries

Faculty encourages student applications;
categories include the arts and sciences

By Ryan Kuhn

THE KENTUCKY KENNEL

The Oswald Awards. which offer
cash prizes to the top two entrants
in seven categories. have received a
low number of applicants over the
past few years.

The awards, which usually re
ceive many applications in the de-
sign and ﬁne arts categories, have
seen a low turnout in events such
as biological sciences and creative
writing.

“We have been doing the same
thing for years now." said Philipp
Kraemer, associate provost for un-
dergraduate education. “We don‘t
really know why participation has
fallen off."

He said that most of the applica-
tions come in near the deadline.

Kraemer said he thinks stu-
dents don’t feel that they have any-
thing to contribute by the Feb. 1 en—
try deadline. because most of their
classes haven’t had any large pro»
jects due.

“It seems that creative writing
would be a category that would be
easier to enter.“ Kraemer said. “But
it is the category that has dropped
off this past year.

Lisa Broome—Price. assistant di-
rector of the Gaines Center for the
Humanities. has also been ﬁghting
to get students to enter the 41-year-
old competition.

“We‘re trying to encourage stu-
dents to apply with the work
they’ve used in classes." she said.
“I‘ll be sending letters to many Eng-
lish Department colleagues. and fly-
ers will be up around campus soon
as well.“

Sharon Gill. administrative co-
ordinator in the Ofﬁce of Under-
graduate Education. said there have
been few applications turned in at
this point.

“If people have a project or pa—
per sitting around or have it from a

Oswald Awards

Students can get more information about
the Oswald Research and Creativity
Awards at the Office of Undergraduate Ed-
ucation in room 100 of the Funkhouser
Building.

For more information online, visit
www.uky.edu/USG/Oswald/0peningPage.ht
in. To download application, go to
www.uky.edu/UGS.

class. they should submit it." she
said. “It would be nice to have plen-
ty of entries to evaluate instead of
two that do not deserve to win."

Gill said that if none of the en-
tries were good enough to win. the
committee would not give out the
awards.

.Ieff Worley. the head of the
committee that judges creative writ-
ing and the editor of Odyssey maga-
zine. says that the number of appli-
cants is always fluctuating.

Worley met with BroomePrice
a few weeks ago to discuss this
year's awards.

“We want students to know
more about the program and help
them feel comfonable with submit-
ting prt‘ijects.” he said.

Worley said he wants to see 30
entrants every year to have better
competition and to showcase the
creativity of UK students. The
awards give 8°60 for first place and
8200 for second place.

“it‘s a great way for students to
get acclaim and money." he said. “It
looks good on a resume."

Students can get more informa-
tion about the Oswald Research and
(‘reativity Awards at the Ofﬁce of
Undergraduate Education in room
100 of the Funkhouser Building.

E-mail
news a kykernelcom

Speaker, parade set

for MLK Jr.

STAFF REPORT

Lexington's Martin Luther King
Jr. celebration will be held down-
town Monday.

The celebration begins
at 7:30 am. Jan. 17 with the
11th annual Unity Breakfast
in the Bluegrass Ballroom
of the lexington Center.
Tickets are $15 per person
and reserved tables of 10
may be purchased for $151)
each. To purchase tickets.
or for more information.
call (859) 263-8819.

The Weedom March
will begin at 11) am. with lineup be-
ginning at 9:30 am. at Heritage Hall.
Following the march. a program
will be held in Heritage Hall honor-
ing King's legacy. The keynote
speaker for that event will be
Michael Eric Dyson. nationally

Alum: Time in Iraq hinges on elections

Dyson

Day event

renowned scholar. speaker and au-
thor. and the Avalon Foundation
Professor in the Humanities and
Professor of Religious Studies and
Africana Studies at the Uni-
versity of Pennsylvania.
The School of Music will
present “A (‘elebration of
African-American Music."
part of the Uniquely Ameri-
can concert series. at 7:30
pm. in the Singletary Cen-
ter for the Arts Recital Hall.
The performance will in-
clude a variety of music by
African Americans. includ-
ing Samuel Coleridge-Taylor. Duke
Ellington and David Baker The con-
cert also highlights traditional spiri-
tuals. Tickets are $10 for general ad-
mission and $3 for students. They
can be purchased at the Singletary
(‘enter box ofﬁce.
Email neu'sw kykernelcom

By Elizabeth Troutman
THE KENTUCKY mm

Lt. Col. Tom Ruby was
showering in a trailer in Bagh-
dad. Iraq. when his world
shook , literally.

A rocket attack near the
US. military's buildings was
strong enough to rattle Ruby's
trailer and lift it an inch off
the ground.

“My wife asked me ‘What
do you do if something like
that happens.” he said. “I'm
not being ﬂippant i told her
if you are not dead. you keep
showering."

Ruby. who graduated from
the Patterson School of Diplo-
macy last May with a doctor-
ate in political science. dis-

cussed his experience in lraq
last night at the WT Young Li-
brary.

Ruby was involved in a re‘
view campaign under four-star
Army Gen. George Casey. His
presentation at UK focused on
campaign planning and em-
phasized the importance of po
litical and military partner»
ship in the current situation in
iraq.

Ruby said students don't
pay enough attention to the up
coming Iraqi elections.

"Students are not interest-
ed in the Iraqi elections. and I
think they should be." he said.

Ethan Bennett. a foreign
language and international
economics senior. attended the

presentation because he was
interested in the issue.

“1 really like hearing a
straight forward approach to
it." said Bennett. who is also
Student Activities Board vice
president. “i trust much more
on what a man who has been
there has to say than what I
see on CNN."

Bennett particularly liked
what Ruby said about the sta-
tus of lraq and future of the
country. which Ruby referred
to as the “endstate”.

“I think it effects all of our
future." Bennett said. “You
have a growing conﬂict. When
you have American lives at
stake. it‘s a big deal."

Many students had ques-

tions about when the United
States would pull forces out
and how that would affect lraq.

“We leave when we achieve
the endstate." Ruby said. "Or if
they ask us to leave or at the
expiration of the mandate.
The decision will be based on
what the election outcome is.

“i am personally conﬁdent
that by next year we are going
to do it." he said. “We are not
there to be imperialists we
are there to set up a legitimate
government and leave.“

Nick Owen. a political sci-
ence junior. said he has been
in the military since he was 18.
Owen works as a military p0
lice officer one week each

Seehgonpagez

Lt. Col Tom Ruby with the US. Air Force.
lastnightattheWJJoungLibraryabout

considerations for campaign planning after his four months

PAGEZ | Friday Jan. 14, 2005

SPRING SALE AT

Horses are shown through the bidding area at Keeneland during the horse sales. An auctioneer using broken vernacular auctions off the hors-
es and employees must scan the crowd for perspective bidders. During the January sales, the top selling horse was sold for a little more than

KEENyELAND

$1 million. After the spring horse sales Keeneland will prepare for the spring meet.

Keeneland officials announced yesterday that the first four days of the sale netted $50.730,800, topping last year's overall sale total of
about $49 million. The sale, which continues through Saturday. currently ranks as the fourth most profitable January sale in Keeneland histo-

ry. The average horse this year sold for about $50,000. and 259 horses were sold Thursday alone.

I.“ m I STA"

Ergo

Continued from page i

month.

“1 love it." he said of the
military. "The discipline it
gave me transfers to every-
thing I do."

Owen attended the pie
sentation last night to hear
what the country did wrong
and how we can learn from
it. he said.

“1 lot of people don‘t hate

a clear understanding of

what is going on the ground
over there." he said. “It‘s a
hot topic. it's good to have a
forum to get different points
of view.“

Patrick Daly, a political

Crawford

Continued from page 1

schools Monday.

“That would be an ideal
situation for Joseph.“ she said
of the possibility of MSU.

MSU team spokesman
Matt Larson declined com
ment to The Kernel yesterday
saying no one from the school
could talk about the situation
until a deal was done.

As of yesterday at 5 pm.
Crawford had not enrolled in
classes at MSU, according to
the MSU Ofﬁce of the Regis-
trar. The deadline for new stu-
dents to enroll for the spring
semester is 8 pm. today.

If Crawford did go to
MSU. he would be eligible to
play again in January 2006
but would be counted as a ju-

scieiiee sophomore. said he
learned iioi to trust every
thing on the news.

"The news on TV isn't al-
ways what's going on in real
life." said l):ily. a iiieiiibei‘ of
the football team. "I'll he opti-
mistic when there is a Wal-
Mart lli downtown Bagh-
dad.”

Anthropology and clas-
sics junior Hayden Lane. also
a member of the football
team. appreciated Ruby's pre-
sentation.

“I thought it was a real
eye-opening presentation."
he said. "11 showed ground
truth. it's more productive.
and things are going a lot bet-
ter than it is portrayed by
media outlets."

E—mall
etmurman it kykernelrom

nior because he would have
broken the National Letter of
intent he signed with Ken-
tucky. There is a one-season
penalty for any freshman that
does not fulfill a full academic
year at the school he signs to.

The UK Athletic Depart-
ment has the authority to
waive the penalty. but UK
spokesman Scott Stricklin
said Tuesday that UK intends
to hold (‘rawford to his obliga-
tion.

Stricklin told The Kernel
yesterday that Smith is leav-
ing the door open for (‘raw-
t‘ord to return to UK this sea-
son. which Stricklin said is
still a possibility

"He's still on the roster
until he enrolls somewhere
else.” he said. "If you look at
his history. 'l‘iibby‘s been
known to give a player more
than one chance.“

E—mail
Ill'l i/ierrs a Icy/tiowe/com

fire/ed

All units are

Fully Furnishod

and have:

PIIVATI IIMOOHSI Moll
with PRIVATI BATHROOMS
and 9 F001 CIILINGS

Largo, woll oquippod
fitnou contor

Clubhouse with thoctor,
group study and social

ﬂower/eat

SHORT WALK TO CLASSES

ON-SITE PARKlNG

NOW OPEN Visit Our Leasing Trailer

intoroction one:

FREE tanning bode

unurr PACKAGE AVAiiAolE 359.225.5500 . 295 Scott Sl.

Hours
Mon-Fri Saturday
10-5 12-5

High-spood lntornot ‘ basic
cable in ouch bodroom It
living room

Rolort stylo pool

BUY YOUR
"‘ TEXT BOOKS
AT HALECOM

AND SAVE UP TO 40% OFF* THE LIST PRICE.

How great, this”? Find great savings on new or used
textbooks you ism-3d this semester. Go to half.com and
enter the hitters or iSBN numbers. That’s it!

gtaaxﬁtional$5

on a purchase of $50 or more.
Mom thls coupon by entering this code:
KENTUCKY2005

at half.com

For I W ﬁrm, ﬁrst-Rm buyan only Stu.» cnndihmm h-Vluvr

‘3

“000' vnlrd hr 55 n" a m- has: -4 gn. .,, a... .. at “,4 r w m ,

0mg mating tovogm "s , am. v» e
m We premium I )[rpn "rvly v,

0700‘ 0801‘"

‘

L——————————-——_——

wfmm:

August lst September 11 2004 and listed as brand new by the seller wrih list pnco for same title Textbook: are defined on ondorgraduoto and graduate
toxtbootto and exclude reference books and novelslliteratore

. a... your! W "'Sl 'ime briys'! ’mly 0'on vom Moat ha o worm-1w of BC on Dobro the amount to ovum one noon not mrluoo orip
”on, “no“. L. rm; «wt Mn» ary w-a' "MOO“ ’iiorrmr‘t gm «men-mo or p'N’W Aw pomnoi vow Ml mi mama mo coupon or R! W W
iis‘ mm. r. 'u ,In's rr no! m may on m. m.» gimp: tr nova: an 'w‘itvo 'Wor "um m Moron J! 2005 o! H 59 M697

‘ 'Clolm boood on comparison of avnraov saiimg prim. mu lining shipping and handling) for top in“, of textbooks iby unit votumoi 3000 on Hot! mm from

Friday
Jan. l4, 2005

PAGE 3

By Joshua Worthington

IN! KENTUCKY KENNEL

The UK School of Music
will commemorate Martin
Luther King Jr. Day Monday
night when they present
“Uniquely American , A
Celebration of African-
American Music."

“In the Uniquely Ameri~
can series. we are having
two concerts that feature
smaller groups and ensem-
bles. and this is one of
those,“ said School of Music
professor Peter Simpson.
“Since we weren‘t doing any-
thing for Martin Luther
King Jr. Day. it just seemed
to be a good ﬁt to have a con-
cert that celebrates African.
American music.“

The concert. which fea-
tures performances by both
faculty and graduate stu-
dents in the School of Music.
has been in the planning
stages since August 2004.

“The idea for the whole
series came up last summer.

and I‘ve been putting this
show together since late Au-
gust or early September,"
Simpson said. "This may be
more appealing to students
than the typical recital be-
cause this is the type of mu-
sic that everyone is familiar
with; everyone has heard
spirituals. and everyone
knows jazz.“

Richard Domek. a music
theory and composition pro-
fessor. will perform three pi-
ano pieces in the show. in-
cluding Scott Joplin‘s
“Maple Leaf Rag" and leg-
endary jazz great Duke
Ellington‘s “Dancers in
Love" and “The Single Petal
of a Rose.“

“What I am trying to do
is give a capsule summary of
the contributions of these
two composers, which en-
compasses about 60 years of
African-American music.“
Domek said. “It is a journey
of sounds specifically
demonstrated on the piano
of what happened in 60

Crystal Little
Features Editor
Phone: 2574915

E-mail: clittleOIIyliernelcom

years of contributions from
African-American musi-
cians.

“Scott Joplin's ‘Maple
Leaf Rag‘ is probably the
most well-known ragtime
piece and certainly Joplin‘s
most recognizable ragtime
piece." Domek said. “The
last Ellington piece I am
playing is a wholly different
conception of music, more
of an atmospheric art-music
piece."

The show also features
performances by Benjamin
Karp, cello; Cliff Jackson. pi-
ano; Miles Osland. saxo-
phone; Raleigh Dailey, piano;
and Shawn-Allyce White, so-
prano.

One piece in the show,
David Baker's “Sonata for
Cello and Piano,“ could be
considered a classical piece,
but it is still heavily inﬂu-
enced by jazz.

“This is sort of the high
brow portion of the program
that shows how those jazz in-
ﬂuences have gotten into the

honors i lVlLK Jr Day

‘Unlquely American'

I M “Uniquely American - A
Celebration of African-American
Music"

I Wllen: 7:30 pm. Monday

I Where: Sinqletary Center for
the Arts Recital Hall

I How mud: Tickets cost $10
for adults, $5 for students; call
257-4929 or visit www.uky.edu/
SCFA for more information

highest levels of classical
music.” said Simpson.

The last portion of the
concert will feature black
spirituals with Cliff Jackson
on piano and vocals by so-
prano Shawn-Allyce White.

“Spirituals are, in a
sense, the very ﬁrst African-
American music." Simpson
said.

E-mail
featuresi’a kykernelcom

Concert celebrates Asian music, culture

By Doug Scott

THE KENTUCKY KERNEL

At a Tuesday afternoon re-
hearsal. the ﬁrst since the end
of the fall semester. Han Kuo-
Huang and his Javanese
Gamelan ensemble class sit
cross-legged and barefoot in a
room in the Little Library.

“OK. 'Runtung.‘ let‘s go."
says Kuo-Huang, a part~time
music professor at UK.

A soloist begins the piece
with gong-chimes kettles. fol»
lowed by drums and then a
deep boom from the gong
player. who determines the
tempo of the music and di-
rects the ensemble.

Tonight will showcase the
players‘ hard work during re-
hearsals. as the School of Mu-
sic and the UK Asia Center
present an evening of Asian
music at the Downtown Arts
Center.

The concert. under the di—
rection of Kuo-Huang. fea-
tures UK students. faculty and
staff performing pieces from
China. Indonesia. Java. Tai-

wan and Malaysia. Guest
artists will also be highlighted
among the ensembles.

Whereas Western orches-
tral music is usually per-
formed in a concert hall for a
listening audience. Kuo-
Huang said Asian music is a
part of culture. accompany-
ing festivals. funerals. theatre
and even courts.

“You don't sit there quiet-
ly with your tie and tail it's
a part of the society." he said.

Kuo-Huang said he want-
ed the audience to come away
not only with an appreciation
for Asian music. but also with
an understanding of Asian
culture.

“I hope they get to learn
something." he said. “For ex
ample. we all take our shoes
off when we play the instru
ments. Why? Because instru-
ments are sacred. and we re-
spect them ,. we also never
step over them."

“The funniest thing about
this ensemble is that people
started taking care of their
feet as soon as they found out

they had to take their shoes
off." said Brad Meyer, a music
performance junior.

The ensembles that will be
featured tonight started in
Kuo-Huang‘s fall semester Ja-
vanese Gamelan class. and
other musicians that he re-
cruited through classes he
taught last semester.

Students not only had to
learn how to play a new musi-
cal style and new instru-
ments. but also how to read
music differently

“The music is completely
different. It's all hand-notated
in a different style. Instead of
notes on a page. its numbers."
Meyer said. “The instruments
are set off differently too. We
have ﬂats and sharps. and
they just have one single row."

The concert is separated
into different parts that ex-
plore different music and geo-
graphic territories through-
out Asia. The program begins
and ends with gamelans
percussion-dominated orches-
tras consisting of gongs. ket-
tles and metallophones

Concert of Asian
Musrc
I When: 7toniqht

I Where: Downtown Arts Cen-
ter, MI E. Main St.

I Howmucti: Free

from Bali and Java. It also fea-
tures a Luogo ensemble ,,
drums. gongs and some
melodic instruments w and a
Chinese Silk and Bamboo en-
semble. which is comprised
mainly of string and wind in-
struments.

Kuo-Huang said that a
concert of Asian music was
not as formal as a concert
comprised of Western music.

"It‘s not just enjoying the
music but also learning the
culture.“ Han said. "And that‘s
what I intended to do."

E—mazl
(lscott u A'ykernelmm

Feng shui sucks; I miss my clutter

I recent-
ly did a
very metro—
s e x u a 1
thing.

Did I
c a t c h
“Desperate
H o u s e -
wives" for
the subver-
sive story-
lines in-
stead of
d r 0 01 i n g
over the
women?

No. I spent two days dev
clutterfying that‘s right.
cleaning my apartment.
Since classes were starting. I
ﬁgured that if I wanted to
avoid studying for ﬁnals in
May in the midst of Taco Bell
wrappers from last semester
, [needed to get busy

There was also the detail of
a friend of mine that had been
lost in my apartment since No-
vember.

Derek
Poore

RERNEL COLUMNISI

(Al lfnRMATAN

us.

My girlfriend praised my
accomplishment. and saw a
guy cleaning his apartment as
an opportunity for me to be
studied by sociologists from
Stanford and Princeton. And I
think she sold movie rights.

Despite her interest. this
wasn‘t any ordinary spic-and-
span venture. Oh. no. I did
what experts call “simplify-
ing“ my feng shui. While I
wasn‘t aware I had a shui to
feng. I continued in earnest.

Having good feng shui is
supposed to relieve stress and
provide for better concentra-
tion. Apparently it was invent-
ed in 4000 BC. when cavemen
had boulders. dead animals
and Twinkie wrappers litter-
ing their caves. Pmmptly their
cave wives beat them over the
head with a club and told them
to take out the garbage and
turn the TV down. Feng shui
was born.

I picked up a fake maga-
zine called “Real Simple: The
Organized Home“ at the book-

ADD A LITTLE COLOR
TO YOUR LIFE!

VISIT SUN TAN CITY AND GET
2 FREE WEENS OF TANNING.

And don't forget to sign up for unlimited tanning
at one low price with your “ODS“ membership!

LEXINGTON
Beaumont
Shopping Center
Next to Kroger
3181 Beaumont Ctr.
296-1442

store. It‘s “fake" because it‘s
$10 and hides inconspicuously
in the magazine rack. waiting
for passers-by to mistaken it
for the latest issue of “Martha
Stewart Living: Prison.“

Anyway: I started thumb—
ing through this “magazine"
and came across a section
called “The Clothes Closet Or—
ganization." The ﬁrst image I
was greeted with was a walk
in closet the size of a ware-
house neatly coordinated.
stacked and sorted. Walk-in
closets were invented so
women had rooms in their
house to simulate shoe-store
stockrooms.

Women have the uncanny
ability to collect thousands of
shoes. This collection dwarfs
any male baseballcard collec»
tion W they own hundreds of
pairs that only match a dress
they saw once six years ago
when they were shopping in
London. and therefore can't
possibly wear any of those
shoes with anything they mm.

I‘m sure many missing

as;
SUN
IAN
ClTY'

5’
i
a
T

----------—--—--‘

2 FREE
WEEK;

OF TANNING

lettuce-Huerta
madman.”

“chitin-mm.

v. I. «wank/WM \Mm‘wr .
—’----—----------J

2 5% OUFI ALE

(bra-pup." rm Mutablmduvukv Min

persons cases are only the re-
sult of a woman or her unsus
pecting boyfriend getting lost
in a Giza—sized shoe collection.

The next pages conﬁrmed
my worst fears: "Who hasn‘t
fantasized about having a
movie-star closet. the kind
with storage for hundreds of
shoes. row upon row of dress-
es and gowns. and dozens of
neatly folded cashmere
sweaters?“

Not me. I just want to lo-
cate my cell phone without
having to put on a snorkel and
wade through my clothing col
lection. which is neatly located
all over the floor (and ceiling)
of my apartment.

Now that the Discovery
Channel crew has left my
apartment. I think I can relax.
But I can't really leave since
I simpliﬁed everything. I don‘t
know where my shoes are

And I‘m afraid to enter my
closet.

E—mm'l
dpoom a Aj‘li'ernc/wm

Ark l
SUN :
TAN ..
ClTY' :

”N 4». I‘M .p-n.

PURDNASEOF’ZSONMEI

LEXINGTON
Beaumont M909 Center 5 L ) N
arm BIIumonl C11 l A”
2964442 ’ .
Cl IY

4.“ hp»- 1 :MA

EVERYTHING
MUST GO!

Mens: Rocawear. Sean John,
Ecko, Phat Farm, Girbaud, etc...

Womens: Ecko Red, Baby Phat,
Fetish, Rocawear Juniors, etc...

Victorian Square 0 401 West Main Street
Lexington, KY 40507

Everything 1/2 OFF
& UP TO 70% OFF

Except some [eons & coats

Best Going Out of
Busmess Sale Ever!

EKENTUCKV

214 E. Main St. . 231-6997 . www.kentuckytheater.com
FREE PARKINGW-«uuayuvwvcnmmiwg nexttePolteIDIpt

STARTS TODAY! EXOLUSIVE DOWNTOWN'

Fri. Times
4:20 7:00 9:40

Mlingtone

"AN EMOTIONAL POWERIIOL‘SE!"

".A DETECTIVE STORY TOLD AS
.A DREAM....ALL YOl‘ WANT T 0
DO IS ('LAI’ .AVD WEEP AND
W .A'T( H IT ALL OY ER AGAIN
IMHEDIATELY. “

'IIIEWAILS'I‘IEI‘IJURNAL

“RAPTI‘ROLISLY BE.AUTIFLI..
STARTLINGLY .AIIDACIOLTS AND
OFTEN VERY F UNNY...” WILL
MAKE YOI,’ FEEL DEEPLY
.A BOUT LOVE A ?\ D WAR.“

Sat.- Mon. Times
1:10 4:10 7:00 9:40

A VERY LONG

SIt.- Mon.
1:30 4:30 7:20 9:50

nulls IS II II "twain t sectional won I it out: m "In in ii ma rm um

Inn ti mm: m iii 13m stirs. Estimating! at mama

‘* it t it! Illllllllllli Mlll 2. s -.
INIIIIIIIIAIIY lillIIlGIlI! iv

' iﬁdhmsmlwuawmmmrrinuw ‘7
i. g min mnnnmlﬂtﬂru mar § I

. i * ammonium:
‘ it. nutritionist

5‘ ‘ ' Deal Carci- Bernnl Rodrigo to 1- lent- ‘.

"“MllIllRCYClE minis

wwwthemotorcycledlnrleemovlecom F o C U s
inwrrnsru‘: "<.|‘ilivil‘