xt7sf766771x https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7sf766771x/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2000-03-24 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, March 24, 2000 text The Kentucky Kernel, March 24, 2000 2000 2000-03-24 2020 true xt7sf766771x section xt7sf766771x LEFT OF CENTER

The sexes

For the



Sarah Hitch
featured l7


Since ladies have to deal
with fun things such
as childbirth, cycles
and overactive tear
ducts, I figure that a
rail devoted to
bashing the opposite
sex is fair. so here
are some jokes about

Why do men prefer

Men always like
intellectual company.

Why do men like love at
first sight?

It saves them a lot of

A woman at 35 thinks of
having children. What
does a man at 35
think of?

Dating children.

How can you tell soap
operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren‘t
affectionate out of

What should you give a
man who has

A. A woman to show him
how to work it.

B. Penicillin

Why do black widow
spiders kill their
males after mating?

To stop the snoring
before it starts.

Why don't men have mid-
life crises?

They stay stuck in

How does a man show
he's planning for the

He buys two cases of
beer instead of one.

How is being at a singles
bar different from
going to the circus?

At the circus the clowns
don't talk.

Why are husbands like
lawn mowers?

They're hard to get
started, emit foul
odors. and don't
work half time.

Why is sleeping with a
man like a soap

Just when it's getting
interesting. they're
finished until next

What is the difference
between a man and a

One is a bottom-feeding
scum-sucker and the
other is a fish.

What did God say after
creating man?
i can do better.

Why do men want to
marry virgins?

They can’t stand

What do you call an
intelligent man in

A tourist.




Hi Lo
Prepare for a rainy

weekend ahead.


VOL. ”105 ISSUE N123


News tips?
Call: 2574915 or write:




Tobacco industry victorious

Supreme court rejects
Clinton initiative, FDA not
authorized to regulate


WASHINGTON The government
lacks authority to regulate tobacco as an
addictive drug. the Supreme Court said
Tuesday. throwing out the Clinton ad-
ministration‘s main anti-smoking initia-

The 5-4 ruling. a victory for an indus-
try under pressure from numerous law-
suits. said Congress did not authorize the
Food and Drug Administration to regu-
late tobacco. President Clinton and others
immediately said Congress should pass a
law letting the FDA reinstate its rules

cracking down on cigarette sales to minors.

But Mark Smith, spokesman for
Louisville. Ky.-based Brown &
Williamson Tobacco Corp. welcomed the

“Business and industry throughout
the nation ought to breathe a sigh of re-
lief. The highest court in the land has
confirmed that a federal agency cannot on
its own go beyond its limits of authority
set by C ongress." he said.

UK Law professor Paul Salamanca
said. “I think it‘s fairly obvious that the
Supreme Court believes that the ball is in
Congress' court.“

Salamanca added that. speaking as a
private citizen and not a lawyer. he does-
n't foresee Congress passing any laws
concerning the ruling this year. This is
an election year. so it is unlikely any—
thing will be done in 2000.

requiring convenience stores
places selling cigarettes to ask for identi»
fication from anyone under age 27 seek-

co. Sen. Tom Harkin. l)-lowa. said. ”i


The ruling throws out the FDA's rule
and other

ing to buy tobacco products.
Other FDA rules. put on hold earlier.

would have limited vendingttiacliiiie cig-
arette sales to adultsonly locations such
as bars. and would have limited cigarette
advertising. All 50 states already ban to

bacco sales to anyone under 18. and the
FDA adopted that rule nationwide.

Some lawmakers push for federal leg
islation allowing FDA regulation of tobac
the convenience stores. i ask our drug
stores. I ask our gas stations. other places
where kids can buy cigarettes to not pull
back. I urge this community to keep the
cigarettes behind the counter. to keep
that ll) check sign up." See TOBACCO on 2



By Tracy Kershaw

in the middle of campus.


Union’ 5 anti-sweatshop campaign.

the Workers’ Rights Consortium.

than the FLA.’ Boyett said.

an art studio junior and LSU member.

she said.


membership from the FLA.



Students stri

Members of the Leftist Student Union
protest UK's labor involvement with skit

It isn't everyday that students strip down to their skivvies

Nor is it everyday that students show up at President
Wethington’s office dressed in boxers or a stars and stripes

“I think if students know about it, they will be against it.“

Wethington said he read the letter from the LSU.

“The students have identified a very serious issue and one
that the University is concerned about,” Wethington said.

He said he sympathizes with the students concerns. and
that he is on the same page in that regard.

UK joined the FLA last year because they were concerned
and wanted to be part of a national effort to stop the produc-
tion of university appearal by sweatshop workers, Wethington

He thinks it would be premature for UK to withdraw

“The University has evaluated FLA. We have not given it
enough time to see if it is effective.” Wethington said.

Dean David Stockham will invite the Leftist Student
Union members to a meeting to discuss the issue, Wethington



laid-Hial- ‘


iliao a.-

1....L... ,,

UK students Ben Gramig. a natural resource conservation
senior, and Diana Hefford, a psychology freshman. peeled off
layers of UK-logo clothing in front of White Hall Classroom
building yesterday as part of a skit by the Leftist Student

Graming wearing only his boxer shorts and Hefford,
wearing only a stars and stripes bikini, marched to President
Wethington’s office to deliver a letter requesting that UK with-
draw its membership in the Fair Labor Association and join

The Worker’s Rights Consortium and the Fair Labor As-
sociation are sweatshop- monitoring organizations. UK is a
member of the Fair Labor Association. The Leftist Student
Union members think that UK should become a member of
the Worker’s Right Consortium because it is not affiliated
with any corporations, said Luke Boyett, a history and sociol—
ogy junior and Leftist Student Union member.

“The big advantage is that the WRC is completely inde-
pendent of companies. It makes the WRC much more objective

The Leftist Student Union, or LSU, performed “sweatshop
strip-down” skit to draw student’s attention to the ills of sell-
ing college apparel made in sweatshops. said Amanda Lewis.


for cause

NlCl toucczk | mm


Leftist Student
Union members
Diana liefford
and Ben Gramig
show some skin
in front of White
Hall Classroom
Building and at
office to request
Ull's withdraw
from the Fair




The Supreme Court decision is a victorious one for
tobacco companies such as this warehouse in
Maysville, lly.

Rupp may
not get
state funds


Renovations to Rupp Arena could he
stalled if a Senate version of the state‘s
budget gets passed. But whether any ver
sion of tthindgct is agreed upon is un»

At one point. Rupp Arena stood to re
ccive $1.3 million to help pay for expansion,

But the Senate version of the budget.
which only surfaced Wednesday night
when it was approved by the Appropria-
tions and Revenue Committee with only
Republican votes. is built on shaky ground.
budget director .Iim Ramsey said.

That effort from the Senate eliminates
funding for many programs. including the
Louisville orphanage and items from
grants to volunteer fire departments to help
in n novating Rupp Arena in lexington.

l‘he Senatey ersion of the budget has a
balance of only about $25 million the first
fiscal year and less than $3 million the sec-
ond and Ramsey said there is no continu-
ing revenue stream to pay off any bonding
that might be done,

Republicans. though. seemed to take
care of themselves in some small way. A
part-time secretary to a judge in the dis-
trict of Senate budget chairman Richie
Sanders. RFranklin. was made a full-time
employee. The Senate spending bill also in-
creased the allowance for senators to buy
stationery tenfold and nearly doubled the
amount of staff members allotted to the Senate.

"I have no idea that they‘re up to.
Building the kingdom. I guess." said Ilemo-
cratic Senate whip Marshall Long of Slici-
byville. “But kingdoms don‘t last very long."

House Democrats. who were joined by
a number of Republicans in voting for
their version of the budget. have predicted
the session could end without a state
spending plan.

But Williams said Republican senators
will negotiate in good faith. “We're not go
ing to walk away from the table.” Williams



Diversity present in SGA campaigns

By Jermaine Johnson

African-American students are step-
ping up to grasp the reigns of leadership,
50 years after Lyman T. Johnson opened
the doors for African-American students
at UK.

In the spring of 1999 Jimmy Glenn be-
came the first African-American president
of the Student Government Association. A
year after Glenn's victory. his opponent
for reelection is SGA Senator Keisha
Carter and running mate Charmaine Neal.
both African-American students.

Glenn commented that the Spring 2000
election is an indication of progress.

“it shows how far we have come. stu-

dents are electing the best people no mat-
ter what race." Glenn said. “it takes the
first person to show that it can be done
it helps students to see other African—
Americans succeeding. and I hope others
decide to throw their hats in the ring."

Carter also sees the election as a sign
of growth.

“It‘s a landmark for two African-
American students to run for SGA presi-
dent 50 years after the first black was ad-
mitted. “ said Carter. “We have the voice
to make a change so other don‘t have to
face problems we did. everybody needs to
strive to make it easier for future students."

Glenn and Carter have long histories
of involvement in SGA and hope to bring
their individual perspectives to the position.

Carter decided to run for office be-
cause of the urging of students who appre
ciated her commitment as Senator and her
displeasure with the “deterioration of SGA
in the past four years."

“My tnain focus is to bring cohesive-
ness back to SGA and to reform lost or
crumbling services such as legal services."
said Carter. The broadening of UK Food
Services is also an issue of Carter's platform.

In his first term. Glenn was successful
in increasing money to students. establish
ing a link to a teacher evaluation website.
increasing more student participation in
the selection of teaching assistants. lf re-
elected Glenn looks to tackle new issues
like UK‘s current alcohol policy. and old
issues like student basketball tickets.

Although minority representation in
SGA has increased. the candidates believe
representation is low campus-wide and
both would like to see the university rea
llect state levels ofdiversity.

With two African-American students
running for SGA president. many students
believe that UK may be on its way to
greater minority representation. and seri-
ous consideration of other views and mi-
nority groups. Still others question
whether having a president that is part of
the minority matters.

“As the campus and community diver
sifics you need more views. but who's to
say .limmy Glenn will do more than a non
minority student." said Emmanuel Lee.
journalism junior.







Lt firemen 2000 I emcee-1t:

The Low-down

I don‘t
know if
she wants
the job or
not is my


- Regis Phillip.
to a question on
“Today" about
the possibility of
his wife and
cohost, Joy.
replacing Kathie
Lee Gifford on
"Live!" this

Priority Registration
Summer and Fall 2000

during your three-day window.

program office now for advisino.

Study: world's oceans warming

WASHINU'I‘UN Scientists haw discov-
ered a significant. even surprising. warming of
the world's oceans over the past 40 years. provid-
ing new evidence that computer models may be
on target when they predict the Earth‘s warm-
ing. The broad study of temperature data from
the oceans. dating to the 19505. shows average
temperatures have increased more than expected
. about halfa degree Fahrenheit closer to the sur-
face. and one-tenth of a degree even at depths of
over 10.000 feet.

White House e-mails investigated

WASHINGTON , - The Justice Department
has launched a criminal inquiry into White
House computer breakdowns that made it impos-
sible to search thousands of incoming emails in
response to law enforcement and congressional
subpoenas. court papers revealed yestersday.
The investigation. by Justice's campaign fund-
raising task force. will focus on the missing 1996-
99 entails and allegations that White House offi-
cials threatened contract employees with retalia-
tion ifthey revealed the problem. the papers said.

CDC report examines America's health

A'I‘LAN'IKA The Centers for Disease Con-
trol released a survey on healthy behavior yes-
terday. saying Mississippians battle the bulge
with less success than the rest of us - 22 percent
of them are obese » while nearly LS percent of
Texans have no health insurance. Wisconsin has
the most drinkers. where residents also con-
fessed to the most binge drinking. The survey
was broken down by race and ethnic groups for
each state and l’uerto Rico. The numbers. culled
from 1997 telephone interviews with 134.000 peo-
ple. highlight continuing disparities between
whites and other racial groups when it comes to
factors of high blood pressure. obesity and lack of
access to medical care.

Boy holds classmates at gunpoint

LISBON. ()hio A 12-year—old held his sixth-
grade class at gunpoint yesterday before a
teacher persuaded him to give up the weapon. No
one was hurt and the boy was taken into custody.
The boy said "his biological mother was in jail
and he wanted to visit her. be with her." said Any
thony Krukowski. superintendent of Lisbon
schools. Police (‘hiefJohn Higgins said the 9 mm
semiautomatic was loaded. The boy apparently
brought the gun from home and concealed it in
his clothes.

Nick Jagger's
chances of rec-
onciliation with
former wife
Jerry Hall were
dealt a blow
when Brazilian
model Luciana
Norad said she
had enjoyed
more than a
one-night stand
with the rock
star. “I hate
everybody say-
ing I had a one-
night stand. it's
not true. I had
a relationship
with him for a
long time."
Norad said.

Hoping to
rebound from a
ratings slump,
NBC unveiled a
list of possible
new shows,
along with plans
for Bruce Willis
to join the cast
of “Friends" in
May and the
airing of hit
film "Titanic"
next fall.


Bush calls Gore too partisan

WASHINGTON — Likely Republican presi-
dential nominee George W. Bush says Democrat-
ic rival Al Gore is an “obstacle to reform" who is
too partisan to be president. Bush. in an inter-
view in yesterday's Washington Post. pledged to
continue pushing his plans for a tax cut despite
polls showing little interest in one and said he
would make saving Social Security a focus of the
fall debate against his Democratic opponent. The
Gore camp took issue with both matters. saying
Bush's tax plan could jeopardize Social Security.

Chicago priest named House chaplain

WASHINGTON Speaker Dennis Hastert
yesterday named a Catholic priest. the Rev.
Daniel Coughlin. as the new House chaplain, and
accused Democrats of playing an "unseemly po-
litical game" by alleging religious bias in a four-
month controversy over the post. Coughlin. the
vicar for priests in the Chicago archdiocese. thus
became the first Catholic to hold the post of min-
istering to House members and their families.
Hastert acted after the Rev. Charles D. Wright.
withdrew from consideration for the post.

Web petroleum marketplace unveiled

NEW YORK Former oil company officials
announced yesterday they are launching an In
ternet trading site for crude oil and refined petro-
leum products. Petroleum Electronic Pricing Ex-
change. or I’EI’EX. will enable its participants to
electronically negotiate sales at wwwpepexnet.
which is scheduled to begin trading products
May 1. Boris Marchegiani. chairman and co-
l‘ounder of the Miami-based exchange along with
Terry Hammer. said its target customers are na-
tional oil companies. airlines. utilities. govern-
ments and rental car agencies.

Devils fire coach Robbie Ftorek

sey Devils. losers of 10 ofthe last 16 NHL games.
tired coach Robbie Ftorek yesterday despite lead-
ing the Eastern Conference in points. Assistant
Larry Robinson. former head coach of the Los
Angeles Kings. will take over for the season.

Woody Harrelson loses hemp battle

FRANKFORTwActor Woody Harrelson to-
day lost his battle to draw a legal line between in-
dustrial hemp and its narcotic cousin marijuana.

The Kentucky Supreme Court ruled there is
no difference and said Harrelson has to go back
to Lee County to be tried for possession.

Harrelson planted four hemp seeds in 1996.
knowing he would be arrested so he could chal
lenge the law outlawing possession of any part of
the cannabis plant.

Compiled from wire reports.



Evelyn Newton passes


Evelyn Newton. the wife
of UK athletics director (‘.M.
Newton. died late yesterday af‘
ternoon at the UK Medical
Center after a long bout with

UK President Charles T.
Wethington expressed his
sympathy in a released state-

“Evelyn Newton was an
inspiration and role model for
everyone around her. She was
a beautiful person. We will
truly miss her wonderful
smile. her compassionate way
and her love of life. On behalf
of the entire I’niversity of
Kentucky community. I offer
our heartfelt sympathy to

(.‘.M. and the Newton family.
Evelyn will truly be missed."
Wethington said.

The Newtons had three
children son Martin and
daughters Deborah and Tracy

and five grandchildren.

In December. the 70-year-
old Newton announced he
plans to retire this summer.
He has been the Kentucky ath-
letics director since April
1989. He is also a former chair-
man ot‘ the NCAA Division I
Basketball Committee.

On Monday. senior associ-
ate director of athletics Larry
Ivy was named Newton‘s suc-
cessor. He will assume i‘ew-
ton‘s post at Kentucky in July
pending approval by the UK
board of trustees.


Tome 6 ”o“

Continued from page I


Senate Majority Leader
Trent Lott. R-Miss.. said some
people will want to give the
FDA authority to regulate to-
bacco. but said. "I'm not one of
those. I don't think they do a
very good job with what
they're doing."

House Majority Leader
Dick Armey. R-Texas. added.
“I'm not anxious to extend the
power and authority to the FDA."

Some UK students had no
objections to the FDA gaining

more control. however.

"Tobacco is unhealthy. so
I welcome any regulation."
said Cody Nurenberg. elemen-
tary education junior.

The FDA said for decades
that it lacked authority to reg-
ulate tobacco so long as ciga-
rette makers did not claim that
smoking provided health bene-
fits. But it reversed itself in
1996. citing new evidence that
the industry intended its prod
acts to feed consumers' nico-
tine habits.

Tobacco companies sued.
and the 4th US Circuit Court
of Appeals ruled in 1998 that
Congress did not authorize the
FDA to regulate tobacco.



An article published on Tuesday. March 21 said that Jim
my Glenn discussed the outcome of his debate in his office.
Glenn discussed the debate with Amanda Holloway in the food

court of the Student Center.

Also. an article in Tuesday‘s paper should have listed the

web address to find


about UK‘s trees as

wwwtreeguidecom/ treeguide/ uk/ index. asp.

To report an error call The Kentucky Kernel at 257-1915.


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5.E.c. WEEKEND! it;

Friday March 24
UK vs. Auburn

4 pm.

Saturday March 25
UK vs. Alabama

2 pm.

Free Koozies!

Free Cups!

Contests and Prizes!


Enter to win a FRI-gt: trip to
Cancun. Mexrco!





All GAMH mu hm ion smrItNis with A VAlirl LD.
CjAMts ARl played Al tht UK Softball COMDHX oil

UKAA would lilo to lllAle oun smsrn |o\(i


UK Bookstom, KiNMilv's Booksiom, «MI ( (mlotu |\\.




llatt Mulcahey
Assistant Arts Editor
Phone: 257495 1 E-mail: IiemelartOyahoocom


emu-u l mmuruaiutllr‘l a

Student wins honor: Violinist Sarah Hitch will be featured in
the next UK Symphony performance

B_y_ Patrick Avery


Soothing strings. willowing winds. A
woman stands at the center of the stage. fo-
cused intently on her strings.

Her music is polished and refined. inte-
grated with the sounds of the orchestra
playing behind her. The lights slowly dim.
and the small audience gasps at the extra-
ordinary strains radiating from her instru-

Decked in hats and T-shirts. the UK
Symphony rehearses for its 8 pm. perfor
mance tonight in the Concert Hall at the
Singletary Center.

The performance will feature Sarah
Hitch. a member of the UK Symphony.
playing her violin.

Sarah received this honor when she
won the University Orchestra Concerto
award this spring.

This award is just one of the many
highlights in her stellar. blossoming young

Growing up in Villa Hills. Kentucky.
Sarah began playing the violin when she
was three and a half years old.

"My older brother was playing. so I
soon followed." Sarah said.

Sarah has been tatight by a teacher
from the (‘iiicinnati (‘onservatory of Music
since she was three. Since she began. she
has been disciplined to practice two hours
a day.

At the age of 10. she knew that she
wanted to take violin playing a little more

There was no orchestra with violins at
her school in Villa Hills so. in addition to
private lessons. Sarah played in a small
chamber group during the weekends.

Sarah knew that she was ready for the
many music opportunities upon her arrival
at UK.

She was awarded the Louis Award. the
premiere scholarship award for an incom»
ing freshman.

Maintaining her academic perfor-
mance is also a priority. However. it does
not look too difficult.

“All of my classes are music-oriented
so it doesn' t affect my academics that
much Sarah said 'All l have to do is
pr ac tic e."

Dan Mason. one of Sarah‘s music pro-

ӎiminq off with a Hitch

fessors. speaks highly of her.

“She is extremely talented ” Mason
said. She has an excellent background and
has worked with excellent teachers. Her
play mg has become musically satisfying.

aSrah also belieyes that she is improv

“I am becoming more satisfied with my
play mg " Sarah said. "I am enjoying it

more than I used to. I just relax more and
have fun. I expected a
lot of myself when I
first got here."

Professor Mason
also complimented
Sarah on her selfdeter-

"She demands lots
of herself." Mason said.
“She is one of those peo
ple that has to please
herself. She doesn't lim-
it herself to what other
people expect of her."

Sarah feels honored
to be in the position she
is in and has future aspirations with her vi-

“I am not sure what I want to do after
college. but I do know I want to do some—
thing with music.“ Sarah said. "I just feel
fortunate to be able to represent the orches-
tra on stage."

. !




Yee Haw

Country crooner Chad Brock will
be performing songs from his
self-titled debut and second
album, Yes, tonight at 7 pm. in
Louisville at Coyote's Music and
Dance Hall.



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 When s the.
chble W :ihbl es

inductee in
Toy Hall of

SALEM, Ore. (AP) - The
Slinky has wobbled
its way into the
National Toy Hall of

The toy, along with the
jump rope. the
bicycle, jacks and Mr.
Potato Head, was
Wednesday as a new
inductee into the hall
at the AC. Gilbert
Discovery Village in

Salem was the birthplace
of Gilbert, a medicai
doctor and toy
master whose
inventions include
the Erector Set and
Gilbert chemistry

This year's selections
were chosen from a
field of 34
nominations by a
panel of educators
and civic leaders that
included Sharon
Kitzhaber, wife of
Oregon Gov. John

This is the third year for
the Hall of Fame
awards. Toys put into
the hall in the past
include the hula
hoop, frisbee,
marbles, Play-Don,
Barbie, Lincoln Logs,
Lego and the game

The Slinky was invented
by accident. A marine
engineer, looking for
a spring to counter
the rocking of ships
at sea, knocked an
experimental spring
off a shelf and
noticed it didn't fall,
but crawled to the

"11.”. .s. 7., .;


LAKE CITY, Fla. (AP) -
Sheriff‘s deputies
here no longer have
to watch thousands
of hours of porn.

Officials had anticipated
having to spend
weeks viewing all
1,304 videotapes
confiscated from the
Adult Movie Video to
determine if they
were legally obscene.

instead, according to an
agreement between
prosecutors and
store owner James D.
Cox. the tapes will be
destroyed in
exchange for Cox not
being charged.

Columbia County
sheriff's deputies
seized the tapes Feb.
25 after a citizen
complaint. Cox said
Tuesday the tapes
were nothing more
than cable-version,

“l still don't think I did
anything wrong." Cox

At issue was whether
the videotapes
violated community
standards regarding
obscenity, but there
are no written
guidelines that
determine what
community standards

Prosecutor Jeff
Siegmeister said his
office wanted to get
the materials out of
the community and
avoid a lengthy and
costly trial.


4 | FRIDAY, MARCH 24 2000


Editorial Board
Christopher Emmick, dialogue editor
Mark Vanderhoff, editor in chief
Amanda Thompson. asst. dialogue editor
Chaz Martin, asst. dialogue editor

Kimberly Glenn, editoriallst

Gary McCollum, senior staff writer
Candice Jackson, editoriallst
Scott Marchand, editoriallst

Lance Pearson, editoriallst







@ Expressions

Poem highlights excitement
of Rupp's “Battle Field"

(Editor's note: This poem was sent by Matt St. Peter, a young student
of an Ohio middle school. Matt admits that he has never been in ltupp
Arena in person to experience till College Basketball first-hand.
However, in a letter to the editor, Matt said that he wrote the
following poem, ”according to what I think it should feel like."
Sometimes as students, faculty and staff at till, we take for granted
Rupp Arena and the basketball experience that this young man so longs
to witness first hand. And although llll's basketball season is over, we
at the Kernel hope you can share in the vision of till Basketball that
Matt has written for us.)

To the Editor:

Battle Field


The energy and emotions are high.


The crowd is pumped.


Mike Snyder


PETA’s anti-milk campaign
should not promote booze

What substance kills brain cells. is a catalyst for
rape and causes more car wrecks than talking on cell-

phones? Alcohol.

However. the animal rights group PETA (People simulations m exist.

for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) doesn‘t see

things this way.

Their new ad campaign A “Got Beer?“ en-
courages everyone. students in particular. to choose
beer over milk because dairy products are
harvested in a way that is hurtful to cows.
Plus. PETA says beer is healthier. with few-

er calories. cholesterol and fat per serving.

I‘m quite glad that PETA has pointed
this out Vernow I may avoid those nasty milk
hangovers that can last for days. Also. gone are the
days when I may be caught bonging milk. No more

milk mustaches for me!

I ’ cool."

‘ PETA is appealing to our vanity with the

" “beer is healthier" argument. but is this
enough to have Cap‘n Crunch swimming in

rum at 7 am? The last thing we need is drunken dri.
ving accidents during the morning rush hour -
“Mornin' honey! Why don‘t we have a pint of Guin-

lt‘s nice to see that PETA cares more about cows ness before work?“

than people. It's one thing to look out for the rights of
animals. but quite another to put them before hu-
mans. urging students. most of whom are underage.
to drink. Alcohol can cause infinitely more harm -- to
humans. not the bovine ~ than a cold glass of2 per-


This is not an attack on PETA's values or vege-
tarianism in general. PETA has done many noble
things. Without PETA. the public wouldn't know that

about us?

Proctor and Gamble (maker of soaps. shampoos.

snack foods and about a million other household
products) is the world leader in animal testing. even
though more accurate metho