xt7z610vtp0c https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7z610vtp0c/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2005-04-29 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, April 29, 2005 text The Kentucky Kernel, April 29, 2005 2005 2005-04-29 2020 true xt7z610vtp0c section xt7z610vtp0c Friday

April 29, 2005

newsroom: 257-1915

first issue free. Subsequent Issues 25 cents.


rnel -

International students find home

Celebrating 33 years of independence

Learn where to find

Finals freebies
Page 4


in UK tennis
Page 8




Police: Rape reported in Mldcat Lodge

Police have suspect but no charges filed;
UK Police were unaware of the incident

By Dariush Shaia

ifrtuiucrv mm

A Lexington Police Depart-
ment report described a female
as “physically helpless" when
she was allegedly raped at the
Joe B. Hall Wildcat Lodge April
20 between 12:30 pm. and 2:30

According to information
obtained from Lexington Po-

lice. an emergency room physi-
cian at an unnamed Lexington
hospital initially made the rape
report. The victim and suspect
were not named because no ar—
rests have been made and
charges have not been filed.
Wildcat Lodge is a residence
hall on North Campus where
the UK men's basketball team
lives. Nonathlete students and
some of the athletics staff also

reside there.

Curless said the suspect was a
student and a Wildcat Lodge
resident but declined to com-
ment further because the sus-
pect has not been charged or

comment on the victim, and it
was not known if she is a UK


Lexington Police Lt. James

Joe 8. Hall
Wildcat Lodge



Curless also declined to


Although charges have not

been filed. police are treating
this case as a first-degree rape
because the victim was inca-

See Rape on page 2





New York
goes after


By Richard J. Dalton Jr.
amour “_ '

New York Attorney Gen-
eral Eliot Spitzer. who has
gone after malfeasance by
investment banks and in—
surance companies. has
now taken on surreptitious-
ly installed spyware and ad-
ware that delivers nuisance
pop-up ads.

Spitzer's office sued Los
Angeles-based lnterrnix Me-
dia Inc.. claiming the com-
pany secretly installed its
software on millions of
home computers.

The lawsuit grew out of
a six-month investigation by
the New York attorney gen-
eral‘s office. “We are defi-
nitely casting an eye across
the industry.“ said Ken
Dreifach. chief of the attor»
ney general‘s Internet bu- _

Through mycooI
screencom. cursorzonecom.
flowgocom and numerous
other Web sites. Intermix tout-
ed screensavers. cursors and
games at no charge. the law-
suit says.

But the suit claims the
free software had a hidden
price tag: adware. Intermix
downloaded KeenValue.
which delivered pop-up ads.
and Incredifind. which
brought users to an Inter-
mix search engine when the
users were trying to visit
another site. The marketing
company also installs tool-
bars on the users' browser.

The lawsuit contends In-
termix didn't warn cus»
tomers it would install ad-
ware or provided mislead
ing or hard-to-find disclo-
sures. The suit also con-
tends that lntermix made it
difficult to remove the ad-

Intermix said in a state-
ment that it neither con-
dones nor promotes spy-
ware, that many of the prac-
tices were instituted under




Above: Matt Page, a UK alumnus, blows into a pipe to expand the bubble inside the glass.
Below: Ashley Watson, a former UK student, uses a small torch to heat the glass. If it cools down too much, it will crack and
break under its own weight.

Full of


Two Lexington artists
hope to educate
with their work

"mourn-rum I sun


Former l'K student Ashley Watson and LR alumnus Matthew Page
started blowing g ass in their private studio. the first ofits kind in
chingtr m. just over a year ago. 'llie duo said they hope to spread their
message of animal rights and the art of glass sculpture to lexington.
'llrc two will offer lll( rnth-lr mg workshops over the summer to teach glass
sculpture. ( Ilasses will be small. with four people to each session.

1.} w more information. call Anima Glass at 252-9638.
or “sit wusvanirnaglasscrrm.



previous leadership and
that the company had been
improving the software and
disclosure statements but
stopped distributing it earli-

er this month.

The company also said it
had provided a means for
removing the software.

Spitzer's office sued the
company for deceptive acts
and practices. false advertis~
ing and trespassing for in
truding PCs.

The lawsuit seeks to stop
Intermix from installing ad-
ware. account for the instal~
lation of its adware and pay

Adware may hinder the
growth of e-commerce.
Spitzer said in a statement.
“These fraudulent programs
foul machines. undermine
productivity and in many
cases frustrate consumers‘
efforts to remove them from
their computers." he said.

Companies generally
disclose that they‘ll install
advertising software. said
Johannes Ullrich. chief
technology officer at Inter-
net Storm Center. a comput»
er security and research or-

But. he said. few people
read the agreements.

facility will
cost parking

By Dariush Shafa
IHE rrurucro mm

The construction of the new basket.
ball practice facility behind Memorial
Coliseum will result in the loss of 183
commuter parking spaces in the College
View Cl/Rl lot.

And any parking in the lot will be un-
available this summer and possibly dur-
ing the 2005-2006 school year due to con-

The College View C1 lot has 322 park-
ing spaces. divided up between 182 com-
muter slots and 240 resident spots. UK
Parking sells 462 C1 permits for the lot.
with 2.5 students assigned to each com-
muter space.

Once the new facility is opened, about
139 spaces will become available again.
but only to North Campus residents, said
Don Thornton. director of Parking and
Transportation Services.

“We're just not going to have enough
parking to accommodate every group we
have in the past.“ he said.

“What‘s happening back there should
not have any (negative) effect on resi-

Commuters will be allowed to request
parking in the C5 parking structure on
South Limestone Street or the C7 lot be-
hind Dickey Hall.

Commuters can even park at the K lot
at Commonwealth Stadium and take the
LexTran bus to campus.

Those with current permits can re-
new permits May 1 to May 31.

Thornton said parking on side streets
will not be an option for students in
search of a convenient space.

“Side streets are pretty full as it is."
he said.

“It's very difficult to tell as to whether
it'll push students (to park) further out
into the city. Our only option at this point
until the new structures are done is to
send them to Commonwealth Stadium.”
he said.

But Thornton said lack of space there
would have more K-lot permit holders
seeing green . , under their vehicles. that

Until demand decreases for K-lot
spaces. more students will be forced to
park on the grass.

The domino effect will also be felt on
LexTran‘s side. Thornton said.

“It's going to put more students on the
buses.“ he said.

“We may very well have to increase
the frequency of buses operating out of
the student lots."

Despite all the changes. Thornton

See Parlr on page 2



an m | Sim
The commuter and resident C1/R1 lot behind Memorial
Coliseum on Rose Street will be closed this summer.

Retiring Honors chair will miss UK i community

By Josh Wolford

It was January 1999: Michael .Ior»
dan was retiring from his illustrious
career with the Bulls. Saving Private
Ryan won best drama at the 56th annu»
al Golden Globes and David Durant he
gan his sixth year as head of the UK
Honors Program.

Now. six years later. Durant‘s last
year as head of the program is draw
ing to a close.

Durant began his higher education
at Princeton. where he majored in his

tory. He was drafted into the Navy
where he served as a deep
sea salvage diver.
"It was not very glam-
orous." Durant said of the
When he finished his
stint with the armed forces.
he became a graduate stu-
dent at the University of
North Carolina.
“I felt as thought I'd read
everything but I had read
nothing.“ Durant said. With this senti-


nrent. he earned his Phi). in English
from UN(‘.
“I really love photography
and modern art. I love going out-
side of literature and teaching a
variety of things." he said. “I
like to ask questions that I don't
know the answer to.“
Durant said his first teach-
ing opportunity came in 1970
when he joined UK's staff. When
he didn‘t teach Honors courses.
he taught fiction. short story.
and 18th century literature. Over 25

years after his first days with UK. he
applied to be the head of the Honors

“It just sounded like a great thing
to be a part of." he said.

Durant still remembers his first
class with Honors.

“A student breakdanced on the
middle of a table in Miller Hall. I real-
ized how wild it was going to be." said

Durant's classes and teaching
methods have garnered praise from

See burnt on page 4


SG names Senate president and committee leaders

By Elizabeth Troutrnan

Student Government sena-
tors filled committee seats last night
in what was termed a balanced and
“gracious" nomination of committee
chairs from both the Becky
Ellingswrrrth and Will Nash cam»

Justin Rasner. manager of the
I-lllingsworthw Kyle Burns campaign.
said the senators acknowledged the
importance of equal representation
from the opposing "teams“ in the

midst of an uncertain presidency.

“They did their part to reach
across the aisles for committees." he
said. “And that’s where real work is

Matt Ray. the longest serving sen-
ator. was elected Senate President.
Graduate School Senator Albert
Kalim and Arts & Sciences Senator
Monica Hobson. both nominated by
Ellingsworth representative and
Business and Economics Senator Ben
Carter. were named to the University
Senate Council.

Carter will serve as next year's
Operations and Evaluations chair-
man. He said his committee meets
every two weeks to make sure the
bilLs proposed to the senate are “con-
stitutionally sound."

"You are making sure it is vi-
able." he said. “The senate will vote
on the content of the bill."

Kyle Burns, Ellingsworth‘s run-
ning mate. resided over the meeting
as president. Ellingsworth sat in on
the meeting to support senators from
her campaign.

Five senators from the
Ellingsworth campaign were elected
to the Interim Senate. which meets
over the summer months. Three
Nash senators and four Ellingsworth
senators were named to the Composi-
tion on Committee.

Carter nominated opponent Sena-
tor-at-Large Nick Phelps as his vice
chair. Rasner said that both “teams"
tried to be fair in positioning sena-
tors in committees

“It's as even as it can be." he said.

Email WWW


 sz | Friday, April 29, 2005


Student given award honorino
studen s with disabilities

A UK student was recently hon
ored for his achievements in the face
of adversity. Curtis “Miguel" Carlin.
a junior in the College of Agriculture.
is the 2005 recipient of the Carol S.
Adelstein Outstanding Student

Carlin has advocated for students
with disabilities to be able to have
better employment opportunities.
Carlin has advocated for students
with disabilities to be able to have
better employment opportunities.

The award recognizes students
who have been an inspiration to 0th
ers within the university community
through their excellence in academic
achievement. leadership roles. ex-
tracurricular activities and social or
personal qualities.

The Adelstein Award is named for
the late Carol S. Adelstein. wife of re.
tired UK English professor Michael
Adelstein. Carol Adelstein used a
wheelchair because of polio.

Commencement speakers
avrard winners announce

Constantine Curris. former presi-
dent of Murray State University and
president of the American Associa~
tion of State Colleges and Universi-
ties . will speak at the 138th UK Com~
mencement at 2 pm. May 8 at Rupp

Curris. who has both a bachelor's
of arts in political science and an ed-
ucation doctorate degree from UK.
will address a graduating ceremony
honoring a record-breaking 6.212 can-
didates for degrees 252 more than the
number honored in 2001.

The candidates for degrees include

Continued from page 1

said there would be positive effects.
“I think (the change is) going to
have a positive impact on traffic near
Rose (Street) and Euclid ( A)\enue. he
Athletics officials said the new fa-
cility is important to their operations


Continued from page i



pacitated and could not
Police said the victim
knew her attacker and ac-
cording to a report made
available to the media by
Lexington Police last night.
the victim named and de



stated the victim was visi»
bly injured during the sexu-
al assault.

When contacted
the incident taking place on
Monroe said 'he was 11n-
aware of the incident and
learned of it from media in-

lt " he said,


39B0 students who completed theil
work this spring semester; 939 who
completed their work in the summer
session of 2004; and 1.373 who com-
pleted their degree requirements in
December 2004.

Rachel Watts. the current Student
Government president. will also
speak at the commencement exercis-

A11 honorary doctorate in science
will be presented to Stanley Platek. a
pioneer in aluminum production and
recycling. Platek is vice president of
research and development for the
Commonwealth Aluminum Corpora-
tion. a company that has changed a111-
tninum production in partnership
with UK.

The first graduates from one of
UK's scholarship programs. the El).
Robinson Scholars Program. will be
recognized during the Commence-
ment. Twenty-five students in this
program. which began in 1997 with
the induction of 162 rising 9th
graders selected from 29 Eastern Ken-
tucky counties. will receive their de-

l~or more details about all UK
Commencement 2005 events includ-
ing the individual ceremonies for
each of the colleges. visit
wwwukyedu Home ()St‘ommence-
ment calendarhtml.

Dance marathon committee
recruiting volunteers

The UK Dance Marathon: Dance-
Blue. at new student-run philanthropy.
is looking for volunteers.

The UK Dance Marathon is a year-
long fundraising effort benefiting The
Golden Matrix Fund. which directly
supports i'K children's cancer re-
search and helps families treated at

and they worked in harmony with the
university to make the new facility a

“We received permission from the
university before designing this pro-
ject and made sure it was a part of
the university master plan." said as-
sistant athletics director for media re-
lations Scott Strickland.

“It's important for the athletics de-
partment. and we've committed a lot
of athletics-generated funds and re-
sources to it."

Students are starting to weigh


the suspect.
sistant athletics

media report also

l'K Police Maj. .loe tion
tht' [JK
was informed.

Similar responses came
from Scott Stricklin. the as-
for media relations.

“We know nothing about
incident at
he said. "We‘ll do
everything we can to sup-
port the police investiga—

(‘ 11rless said hew
kl’olice Department

the UK Children's Cancer Clinic.

The upcoming year will include
fundraising events. 5K races. blood
drives and several other interactive
events for Golden Matrix families.
participating organizations and spun

in February 2006. they will spon-
sor a no-sitting. no-sleeping. 24‘hour
dance marathon. Similar events are
held at universities all over the Unit-
ed States. including THON. the
largest student-run philanthropy in
the world. hosted by Penn State.
which raised over $4.1 million for Pe-
diatric ()ncology at the Hershey Med
ical Center this year.

For more information. contact the
marathon’s chair Emily Pfeifer at
ekpfei‘z'u ukyedu or at 351-8994.

Chinese earthquake researchers
to visit UK in May

Three researchers from China's
Lanzhou Institute of Seismology will
he in Kentucky. visiting the UK cam-
pus and sites where seismic instru-

ments monitor earthquake activity in
Kentucky and the central United

On May 4. the trio will visit the ge—
ological sciences department and the
KGS. conducting several seminars on
earthquake disasters and related is-
sues in China. including a large 8.1
magnitude event in 2001.

On Thursday and Friday. May 5
and 6. the Chinese delegation will be
taken to several sites in western Ken-
tucky where the K08 and Department
of Geological Sciences have placed
seismic instruments in the Kentucky
Seismic and Strong-Motion Network.


their options.

“As far as the walk to campus. the
(C5) structure wouldn't be that bad
but back behind the education build-
ing would be a little tedious. 1 hate K-
lot. Kim is ridiculous." said history
junior Joe Simpson.

“1 think anywhere you put us
there's going to be a parking prob-

dshafalu kykernelcom

UK l’olice.‘ he said.

“'Im not the one that
tnade the communication.
but there may not (have
been) a significant amount
of communication."

Curless said police will
continue looking into the

"We're in the middle of
our investigation. and
we're still continuing it."


was told

"it was my understand-

got no reports of

ing that some communica-
tion had been made with

dshafaiu kykernelcom




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US. economy growth rate slows

By Joel Havemann
ios ments nuts

US. economy grew at its
slowest rate in two years
during the first quarter. the
government reported Thurs-
day. confirming fears that
rising energy prices, soaring
imports and slowing busi~
ness investment created an
economic sofi patch.

The Commerce Depart-
ment said the nation‘s gross
domestic product grew at an
annual rate of 3.1 percent.
down from 3.8 percent in the
final three months of last
year and short of the 3.5 per-
cent consensus forecast of

It was the slowest growth
since the 1.9 percent pace of
the first quarter of 2003.

The report sent stock
prices tumbling. The Dow
Jones industrial average lost
128.43, or 1.26 percent, clos-
ing at 10,070.37.

Economists had mixed
views of the seriousness of
the slowdown. and whether
it would extend into the cur-
rent second quarter.

“The economy hit a pot
hole in the first quarter."
said Mark Zandi. chief econ-
omist with the consulting
group Economycom. While
3.1 percent is close to the
economy’s sustainable

growth rate, he said. he had
hoped for another year close
to last year's 4.4 percent rate
to take the slack out of the
labor market and provide
jobs for the millions of
Americans who are working
less than they want.

However, Edward McK-
elvey. a senior economist
with the investment house
Goldman Sachs. predicted
that consumer spending.
which rose at a 3.5 percent
rate in the first quarter de-
spite higher oil prices and
falling car sales, would keep
the economy growing, as it
has throughout the recovery
from the 2001 recession.

“I‘m not worried about
the economy," McKelvey

But for the first quarter,
much of what business pro-
duced moved to shelves in-
stead of consumers.

Build-ups in inventories
accounted for 1.2 percentage
points. or nearly 40 percent.
of the first quarter's eco-
nomic growth, while final
sales accounted for 1.9 per-
centage points.

In the expectation that
production would slow while
companies drew down their
inventories, Goldman Sachs
reduced its forecast of
growth in the second quar-
ter of 2005 to 3 percent from
4 percent.

“While output is slowing,
inflationary pressures are
building," said Dean Baker,
co-director of the Center for
Economic and Policy Re-

The broad measure of in-
flation that the Commerce
Department uses in calculat-
ing gross national product
rose to 3.3 percent in the
first quarter, its highest level
in four years. Even without
the volatile energy and food
sectors, inflation was 3.2 per-

Economists said the
specter of inflation would
keep the Federal Reserve on
course to raise its bench-
mark short-term interest
rate by 0.25 percentage
points. to 3 percent. at the
meeting of its policy-making
committee Tuesday

It would be the Fed‘s
eighth such increase in its
last eight meetings. dating
back to June.

Zandi said the Fed might
pause after the next expect-
ed rate hike on June 29. but
McKelvey predicted the Fed
would stay the course for an
indefinite period.

Baker said the Fed had
no good options. Rising oil
and import prices, slowing
productivity growth and a
falling dollar “will almost
surely push inflation higher
in the quarters ahead,“ he


“The Fed will be left with
the choice of trying to keep
interest rates low to help
sustain growth. or raising
interest rates in an effort to
choke off inflation."

Most analysts were sur-
prised that business invest-
ment grew at an annual rate
of only 4.7 percent in the
first quarter. down from 14.5
percent in the previous
three months.

McKelvey said he had
thought the fundamentals
were in place to support a
capital spending gain closer
to 10 percent.

Zandi said tax policy
might be the culprit. Until
the first of the year, busi-
nesses were entitled to a
generous tax write-off for
the cost of new plant and
equipment, and Zandi said
many businesses probably
moved up to the end of last
year investments that they
otherwise would have made
at the beginning of this year.

But McKelvey said he
saw little evidence of a burst
of business investment at
the end of last year.

. Steven Wieting. senior
economist for Citigroup.
said the greatest drag on
economic growth in the first
three months of the year
was the deteriorating US
trade position.


Friday. April 29. 2005 I PAGE 3

New law tightens laws

on abortion,

By Mic Allen

dent Bush is urging the Sen-
ate to take up a bill passed by
the House this week that
makes it a federal crime ——
complete with possible fines
and jail sentences — for doc-
tors or other adults to help pa-
tients under 18 evade
parental-notification require-
ments by crossing state lines
for an abortion.

Opponents call it “the
grandmother incarceration
act" for the penalties that
could be imposed on non-par-
ents who travel with minors
to end a pregnancy But con-
servative groups say the mea-
sure is a way to ensure that
the will of state legislatures is
carried out. since it is now
possible for a young woman to
travel from one state to anoth-
er with less restrictive laws to
avoid having to tell a parent
she plans to have an abortion.

The bill creates two new
federal crimes, each of which
can carry a $100,000 fine. one
year in jail or both. The bill's
first section covers the trans-
portation of a minor for an
abortion. The second section
requires the abortion
provider to notify a minor's
parent or legal guardian if
she lives in a state with a


parental-involvement law

House Judiciary Commit-
tee Chairman F. James
Sensenbrenner Jr., R-Wis..
said during the floor debate
that the bill is “vital to
parental rights.”

'Ilony Perkins, president of
the conservative Family Re-
search Council and father of
three daughters, said in an in-
terview that the bill was one
of his group’s top priorities
for the year and called it “a
recognition of parental au-

Nancy Keenan, president
of NARAL ProChoice Ameri-
ca. countered that the bill is
“a bureaucratic nightmare"
and is part of a multi-track
strategy by conservatives that
includes packing the judicia-
ry with judges sympathetic to
their views.

The bill. the Child Inter-
state Abortion Notification
Act. passed the House on
Wednesday night by 270 to
157, with 216 Republicans in
favor and 145 Democrats
against. Crossing party lines
were 54 Democrats who sup
ported the bill and 11 Republi-
cans who opposed it. The bill
makes an exception if the
abortion is necessary to save
the life of the minor. The
House passed similar bills in
1998, 1999 and 2002.


Republicans propose 2005-06 federal

By Janet Hook

lican leaders in Congress an-
nounced agreement Thursday
on a 2006 budget that calls for
new belt-tightening in major
domestic programs, even as it
allows $106 billion more in tax
cuts and leaves a $382 billion

The agreement also paves
the way for adoption later this
year of legislation to expand
oil drilling in Alaska‘s Arctic

National Wildlife Refuge, a
top White House priority.

The compromise. which
was expected to be approved
by the House and Senate
Thursday night. calls for $40
billion in savings in Medic-
aid. farm programs and other
fast-growing entitlement pro
grams over the next five

Those savings fall short of
the $69 billion that President
Bush initially sought. Still,
the budget agreement marks

the first time since 1997 that
Congress has taken even a
modest step toward slowing
the growth of government en-

The budget * a compro-
mise between earlier versions
passed separately by the
House and Senate A— is a vic-
tory for Republican leaders
who were hoping to avoid re-
peating the embarrassment
they suffered last year, when
the two chambers could not
reach agreement on a budget.

“Is this a perfect budget?
Of course not.“ said House
Budget Committee Chairman
Jim Nussle. R~Iowa. “Having
a plan is better than not hav-
ing a plan."

The budget resolution is a
nonbinding blueprint that
does not require Bush‘s signa-
ture. But it sets spending ceil—
ings and revenue targets for
tax and appropriations bills
drafted later this year.

It also sets in motion a
procedure that will allow the

tax and spending cuts man-
dated by the budget to be con-
sidered in a special bill that is
immune from filibusters in
the Senate. The Alaskan oil
drilling initiative is expected
to be included in that mea-
sure. enabling it to circum-
vent the filibusters that have
blocked that signature piece
of Bush‘s energy policy in
past years.

Negotiations over final
terms of the budget were
tricky because the House.


where conservatives have
been restive over the growth
of government spending in
recent years, insisted on
tighter restrictions on domes-
tic spending than the Senate

A point of particular con-
troversy was Medicaid. the
federal-state health care pro-
gram for the poor. The House
version of the budget called
for slowing the growth of the
program by $20 billion over
five years.


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April 29. 2005

Crystal Little
Features Editor
Phone: zsi-ms

{-iriall: clittleOlyhernelxoin



ETCETERA I the poore philosophy

Rounding up the best feedback ever

During Dead Week, since
I’ve obviously got so much
free time on my hands be-
cause I don’t
have 16 papers
to do and 40 fi-
nals to study
for, reflecting
on the past
seems like the
thing to do.

So I’ll give
a little back to
the readers. Derek
But not too
much. be. POOI'O
cause 1 know Wifio—wmrrsr
how you read-
er types can twist the truth
and do anything for a story.
But it‘s been fun laughing at
things and then laughing at
readers for it.

The e-mails I've received
have usually been poignant
and thought provoking. Let~
ters from people like Jack
Leifer, an assistant professor

of mechanical engineering.
who explained the real ad-
vantages of a space elevator.
I wasn‘t completely sold on
his arguments. but he did
echo my usage of the word
“gianormous” thereby in~
serting into UK‘s lexicon for-
ever. You are fantabulous.
Professor Leifer.

But seriously. We made
strides in equal opportunity
for space elevators and what
they represent. l‘ve pur-
chased my own and it should
arrive in 7 to 10 days from a
remote region of China. I‘m
concerned. though. about
the need for mass amounts of
school glue.

When I made fun of the
fact that most of America
had forgotten there was in-
deed a national professional
hockey league. agricultural
communications major and
Boston-native Michele May
pointed out that hockey fans

do indeed exist ,. and
they're all from Boston. And
they include everyone except
people whose name isn't
Michele. And out of that
group it doesn’t include any-
one who didn‘t e-mail me
about it.

It could not be explained
to me. however. why Nick
Hornby‘s novel about love
and soccer “Fever Pitch" was
transformed into 3 Jimmy
Fallon carnival about the
Red Sex.

I received criticisms. co-
nundrums and yes. even
compliments. One “frustrat-
ed writer" told me to keep up
the good (that‘s debatable)
work and I told her not to
give up on her dream. be-
cause writers are dreamers.
even though mine are usual-
ly nightmares.

The only other compli-
ments were strange mis-
spelled e~mails about how I

can become a billionaire if I
help some ambassador in
Mali. While much appreciat-
ed. I decided not to accept the
money for tax reasons. It was
pretty impressive to know
the Kernel has such far-flung

Unconfirmed Rev. “JW”
told me I should “get out
more to a nude dinner per-
haps!“ after I took a shot at
New York City and nudist
dining adventures. I say “un-
confirmed reverend" because
the moniker on the e-mail
was “Rev. JW" I haven't
made it yet. JW. but I'll be on
the lookout. clothes in hand.

Now that I‘ve managed to
procrastinate for another
hour. I think I’ll get to work. I
need 3.000 bottles of glue and
plenty of Popsicle sticks for
my space elevator.



‘Ghana’ dance to send students to Africa

By Kathleen Sweeney

A University of Kentucky
student organization is pre
senting a very unique oppor-
tunity for students to support
a good cause while they
break a sweat.

The Christian Student
Fellowship is sponsoring
“Ghana Dance All Night
Long: No Booze Just Beats"
tonight to raise money to
send 12 students on a service
mission to Ghana. Africa.

Steve Wiggins. represen-
tative of CSF. said these 12
students will spend more
than four weeks of their

summer break in Ghana.

Wiggins said they will
spend their time building a
medical village and Christ
ian Village in Northern
Ghana. Then they head to
Central Ghana to build a
clinic and lead a vacation
Bible school for 300 children.

"The trip is sponsored by
CSF but all funds a