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A PuaLIcA'rIDN or TH: LEXINGTON BAY AND LzaaIAN anvmza ORGANIZATION
COMING OUT |0| National Gay/Lesbian Crisis Line
BY KENT W ECHLER (800) 2474283

Thinking about coming out this month? Told Teenage Gay/Lesbian Support
by one friend it was no big deal and nothing (800) 347-TEEN
changed? Told by another that the family changed Thurs-Sun. 7pm-Midnight
the locks and burned the picture album?

What you may learn from the experiences of Coming out is liberating and frightening. If
other is that coming out is an extremely personal changes your life. Accepted or rejected, things are
matter. Never let anyone make the decision for not the same as before. The central point is that to
you; only you will know when you’re ready. But all persons you tell, you give back to them the
listen to the tales, read the books, be prepared for responsibility for their reactions and dealings with
any reaction--then do it. Tell someone your real them. You, to one more person, stop telling lies,
story. stop living the lies, become to yourself and others

You don’t have to come out to the world. Start a real person. There is a big difference between
out small. Coming out is a process, done over a making up all those stories (and keeping them
period of--well, your whole life. Forget the “big straight) and offering the real information if asked.
ones” (usually the parents) for a while. Get some You will discover how much energy you were using
practice first. Some may have to begin with to protect other people‘s feelings. Let them deal
themselves. Have you come out to yourself? with their feelings, and use your energy for
Have you ever written the sentence “I am gay" or yourself.
said it out loud? The next step may be telling We have been trained by our culture, the
someone gay that you are, too. Telling just one media and ourselves to accept extremes as the
person, you’ll be surprised how empowered you whole story. Yes, there are those who have come
feel. That goes for those who have been out for out to unconditional acceptance, and others who
years. Telling just one person, every October, have lost their children, families, and jobs--but
extends gay pride and public awareness just that those are the extremes. The majority of us are
much further. You will feel the empowerment somewhere in the middle: we aren’t completely
every time. out, and have lost and gained friends and family

7 7 along the way. What’s more, the reactions are
6 . also in the middle--once the mystery is taken
N @ t U Q fl @ ll away, people tend not to ask questions if they
., don’t want to hear the answers. Eventually,
C Q m H n g Q U E D @ Y relations with yourfamily will get back to the usual
0 c T O B E R 1 1 stuff, although with adecidedly different twist.
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